Bravado
by S.M. Larsen
Summary: AU in which Kagome goes off to college, nursing a broken heart - and a need to move on from her pain. With Inuyasha's relationship with Kikyou chasing Kagome into the arms of Kouga, a track star with a soft spot for her, how will either Kagome or Inuyasha come to terms with their true feelings? Especially when all Kagome wants is to be strong again.
1. University Girl

**Bravado**

Inuyasha AU in which Kagome goes off to college, nursing a broken heart - and a need to move on from her pain. With Inuyasha's relationship with Kikyou chasing Kagome into the arms of Kouga, a track star with a soft spot, how will either Kagome or Inuyasha come to terms with their true feelings? Rated for depression, language, alcohol, drugs, etc.

 _'Cause I was raised up_  
 _To be admired to be noticed_  
 _But when you're withdrawn it's the closest thing_  
 _To assault when all eyes are on you_  
 _This will not do_

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh_  
 _Oh, oh, oh, oh_  
 _Oh, oh, oh, oh_  
 _Oh, oh, oh, oh_

 _I'm faking glory_  
 _Lick my lips toss my hair_  
 _And turn the smile on_  
 _And the story's brand-new_  
 _But I can take it from here_  
 _I'll find my own bravado_

 _Lorde, Bravado_

 **Chapter One: University Girl**

The mirror had not been moved from her wall since middle school, the last time she had gone through a change which required her to re-evaluate all too much: her heart, her identity, her self. What did it mean to be Kagome Higurashi? Did she sacrifice who she was for love? Was love what mattered most to her?

Once, she believed that. But then, aren't all girls taught that love is what comes first? Unfortunately, boys are not taught the same.

Kagome flattened her skirt against her thighs, thinking of a little green skirt she had worn not so long ago. It was the middle of a Saturday, and the day was cheerful and bright and everything a summer day should be. Kagome had not left her room, however, and for all she cared it was a dismal winter night.

The skirt she wore now was longer than the one she recalled, actually covering her to mid-thigh, and was a soft black-velvet that she thought projected her new self wonderfully. University student she was, university student she would be for at least four years, and she would no longer resemble the silly teenager she had been. The matter of moving to university was not as simple as advancing in her studies, so much as advancing on her path, finally figuring out all she needed to know in order to own her future.

"Kagome!" The girl in question tugged at her loosely-fitted white blouse, which was tucked neatly into the skirt. Her black stockings bunched up just above her knees. Older though she was, she knew how to look cute even when serious. She was nineteen, and she was ready for the next step. Carefully she stuck her fingers behind the mirror, which was stationed on the inside door of her closet. She expected the mirror to hold fast to the door, but instead it peeled away easily, just as an expected change often does. Once thought to be an impossible task, now something menial, and easily conquered.

"Yes mom," Kagome called back, not quite to her normal full volume. She held the mirror close to her face, inspecting the small worry lines that had appeared, the sullen frown on her usually cheerful face. She'd been packing for weeks, preferring to take time with each item she stowed away, remembering the importance of the memories which attached themselves to everything she owned. If she did not reflect now, she would be overcome later, something she had learned the hard way in her high school years.

"Do you need anything from the store?" The easy question surprised Kagome. Maybe having a broken heart made everything serious. Maybe she was forgetting that her life had never truly been complicated.

"I'm all set," Kagome bit her lip and moved her eyes across the room. She owned so little, but everything bore so much. Every misplaced sock had its own story. She stuck the mirror on top of a stack of miscellaneous items, allowing herself to absorb her own melodrama with as much grace as she could muster.

The emotionally-boggled teenage girl fell to her bed, as she had done so many times before, falling back on the pink comforter in a distinct 'I'm upset and need to be left alone' position.

The I-beg-to-differ knock on her window was, if she was being honest with herself, very much expected and only partially desired. But what else was new.

"Kagome," the annoyingly sharp pronunciation of her voice would have normally sent her into a rageful spiral. As if she was the one interrupting a much needed session of mourning.

Kagome sat up, grumbling as she unlatched her window. A pair of bare feet hit her carpet without a sound, and a pair of golden eyes were assessing her before she could get a word out. A strong hand caught her chin, not unkindly, but the familiar furrowed brow and the scowl that accompanied it told her all she needed to know.

"Why are you acting like this? _You're_ the one leaving." Inuyasha was never one for pleasantries. Kagome growled and pushed the half-demon boy away. She hated how comfortable he was, coming and going at all hours of the day, always bugging her, always annoyed, but never so annoyed that he would ever leave her alone. His loosely-fitted jeans and red tee shirt were once the most comforting sight she could behold. Now she only thought of a girl who also wore red, a girl who fit snugly on his arm, a girl who hated Kagome.

"I'm allowed to be sad about it, Inuyasha," came her cold reply, a different answer to a different question. Defiantly Kagome resumed packing, even though the half-demon boy had seen her curled up only seconds before. She lifted the top of a suitcase and began aggressively stuffing in her clothes, paying no mind to how poorly they were folded. Inuyasha always made her careless.

"I know that. You just seem a little more sad than I'd expect ya to be." He threw himself comfortably down onto her bed, a small frown on his face.

"Well that's my business." The suitcase was too full now, but Kagome kept stuffing, a new, unidentified feeling fueling her movements.

"It's mine too!"

"No."

"Yes. We're best friends."

"So?"

"So I care about you, dammit!" He was sitting up then, relieved in some twisted way that she was still bickering with him. It felt normal. It felt like them.

"Where's Kikyou?" He winced. Bringing up Kikyou was Kagome's way of shutting down arguments, flipping the switch, hurting him even. Kagome knew why she did it, hated herself for it. He never knew how to ask her why she always brought up Kikyou in the midst of an argument, though, and it was honestly something he would probably never figure out on his own.

"She's reading to the children at the library. You know she does that every Saturday." Kagome could have laughed at how ludicrous that sounded. Of course Kikyou was reading to the children! She was so kind, Kagome knew that better than anyone! Why would perfect Kikyou ever do anything unkind to anyone? (Kagome was grinding her teeth.)

"Oh of course," Kagome grabbed the zipper of the suitcase and jerked it down, effectively wedging the sleeve of her favorite sweater into the teeth of the zipper. "Fuck."

"What?"

"I screwed up my suitcase."

"No, not that - "

"What?"

"What was that, 'oh of course?'"

"INUYASHA!" Kagome exploded, pushing her suitcase away and turning on the boy, who was looking so confused, as usual, that Kagome could only deflate and press a clammy hand to her forehead. He was just so stupid.

"I don't get you," he huffed, but he looked sad, like he really did want to understand. Normally he would have his own retort prepared. Kagome abandoned her suitcase and got up, sitting next to her companion, leaving a space between them that never would have existed before.

"I'm sad that things will be different, but things are already different, 'Yasha." Kagome met his eyes, pleading him to understand without her having to embarrass herself. I love you. She hates me. She wants me gone. I should've told you before.

"I guess so," he said weakly.

"See? I'm just not as happy here as I used to be. Maybe going to university will help me… figure stuff out."

"But…" Inuyasha fiddled with a loose thread on her comforter. "I, I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

His confession warmed her heart. But she had heard this before. She had almost succumbed last time, only to watch him go back to Kikyou, to see Kikyou's threatening, deceptive smile over his shoulder, aimed at her, cautioning her not to come too close…

"What time does Kikyou get done at the library?" Kagome tried to keep her voice neutral.

"Three… I'm taking her out to dinner after…" Kagome nodded.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, at noon. Will you come later to say goodbye?"

He took too long to respond. He was wincing again. She felt a familiar ache.

"That's why I'm here now, Kikyou is, uh, spending the n-"

"Let's say goodbye now then!" Kagome flung her arms around Inuyasha quickly, hoping the hot rush of tears would be stifled easily, that he wouldn't smell them -

"Kagome, are you taking these?" Souta was at the door suddenly, looking unbothered at the pair hugging, the two of them surrounded by suitcases and boxes. When he looked closer, however, he recognized a change. Inuyasha's face was red, Kagome's eyes shined too brightly, and the hug itself was full of tension. Souta tightened his hold on the books in his hands.

"I better finish packing," Kagome told Inuyasha weakly, releasing him. "Enjoy your date with Kikyou!"

The boy let his silver hair fall in front of his eyes, watching as Kagome approached her brother, discussing the books with much more animation than strictly necessary. He knew she was hiding from him, and this wasn't the first time. The problem was, she had never left him before. They had always had time to resolve whatever conflict had arisen, and she had always forgiven him for his obliviousness, for his tactlessness, for the hurt he brought on -

When Kagome had turned back to look at her friend, he had already gone, window closed as if it had never been open.


	2. Time to Forget

**Chapter Two: Time to Forget (edited!)  
**

University is, strictly speaking, just okay. That is what Kagome decided in her first month as a university student. Everyone was loud and the professors were strict and the library was anxiety inducing, honestly. A month and a half later, she felt completely neutral towards the place, but was still grateful for the space and the "new start" aspects of the gig. Being away from Inuyasha, she decided, was exactly what she needed. At least, that was the mantra she repeated every time she checked her phone, eyes avoiding the messages that just kept coming. _Kagome, please just talk to me. I don't know what I did_.

The relationship between Kagome and Inuyasha is everything to Kagome, always has been, always will be. They met when Kagome was only fifteen, an energetic, optimistic girl who feared nothing and everything at once. She would go rock climbing, skinny dipping, would wink sweetly at boys whose eyes lingered on her for too long. She was absolutely fearless, if you asked her friends and family. Propriety be damned, Kagome lived for her self, even at a young age. At the same time, she feared rejection, could never speak her true feelings, and allowed her temper to control her actions.

In fact, the only reason Kagome even met Inuyasha was because she had been too curious, and then too angry, and then too persistent. Afterwards, she could not be without him, and he could not be without her. And because of that, because of their intensity, their unlabeled, unidentified, intensity, they never knew what to call one another, and settled unanimously on 'best friends'.

The night they met had been different, though. Something about the meeting was different from everything that followed. Maybe it was because it was the only time they'd never felt insecure around one another, the only time they hadn't denied themselves the pleasure of being open. Then again, that might've been the sake.

 _(flashback)_

While she was a hard working student and while she had a small group of close friends, Kagome had been anything but a social butterfly. Although she was plenty brave and headstrong, Kagome was a dreamer, and preferred to keep to her own world most of the time. Parties were too big, too loud, too much for her, to be quite honest. She much preferred a good book to a loud crowd of people. But parties happened, occasionally, and when they did, her friends were bound to find ways to push Kagome into attending. At the time the reason had been Hojo, Kagome's all-too-innocent suitor who wanted so badly just to be around Kagome. They had dated briefly and the result was a series of uncomfortable dates neither one of them looked fondly on later - well, Hojo might've enjoyed the early ones.

The party itself was made up of high schoolers, but Ayumi had an older brother as well as Hojo, and well, the opportunity presented itself, and before you could said "Higurashi" Kagome found herself attending said party. She felt her mistake upon arrival; there was lots of cheap beer and sake, and because she had showed up late with Hojo, she had missed the initial sampling, and felt too out of place to request her own illegal beverage (she was fifteen, after all!). The music was quiet, neutral, and the chatter meaningless, frustrating.

"OOOOOHH, Kagome!" squealed Yuka, grasping Kagome's arm a little too tightly. "Isn't this exciting?" Eri and Ayumi gigged behind her. There were streamers on the walls and couples on the furniture, but it felt more like a party a parent would put together than a bunch of students. "Hi Hojo!" Yuka gasped. Kagome wiggled her arm free and immediately felt regretful about showing up in the first place. She would not be drinking any of that sake, that was for certain. As it turned out, almost everyone at the party was in high school - and almost done with high school - and Kagome knew that if she wanted her friends to get home safe and sound, someone would have to be responsible. Kagome eyed the can of Strongbow in Ayumi's hand wearily.

"Looks like uhh, quite the party," Kagome shifted her eyes to Hojo, but he was already gone. His brother, a much older boy with a much louder voice, was in the process of dragging Hojo over to a table where a game of cards was being played. A lot of cheering erupted from the table when the tipsy onlookers spotted their friend's little brother. Hojo was looking back at Kagome, begging for help, but she only waved at him cheerfully before turning away.

"Nightmare," Kagome mumbled. She turned to her friends. "How much sake have you girls had?"

"Three cups each!" Eri announced proudly, showcasing three tally marks on the back of her hand. "And Ayumi found herself some beer!" Kagome nodded severely. The girls looked at Kagome expectantly, as if waiting for her to request her own drink. She felt the pressure even without the words of encouragement.

"I'm going to… get some water," Kagome decided. "Don't move." Kagome turned away from her flock of giggling friends, silently angry at them for pressuring her to come. Didn't they know how weird it was to be hanging out with all these older high schoolers? Not to mention the fact that only a few of those high schoolers were girls…

Kagome found the kitchen, which was fortunately significantly quieter and only held a smaller group of girls. She recognized none of them and avoided their circle, feeling uncomfortable around people who were just out of her age range. She couldn't blame the high schoolers for partying, but hated that she had found herself there, on a date with a boy she'd been waiting to let down for months. She grabbed a plastic cup from a stack, moving to the sink silently to fill her cup -

"Inuyasha and Kikyou broke up? Wow, I could've sworn those two were in it for the long haul!" Kagome attempted to ignore the tidbits of gossip that she kept catching, but every girl in the kitchen seemed to be trained to one conversation, and she flushed when she realized a few of them were whispering together, their eyes on her. "Yeah, apparently Kikyou cheated! And when Inuyasha confronted her, they had a huge fight, a very public one, too!"

Kagome sipped her cup of water thoughtfully, peering over the edge at the girls. Thankfully only one girl seemed all that bothered by Kagome's presence. The rest were either too tipsy to notice or just didn't care.

"But isn't Inuyasha here tonight?"

"He is! But I haven't seen him in a while, maybe he left?"

"No, I think he just got too drunk to stand up! He's a total bad boy!"

They giggled conspiratorially, more of them noticing the middle school girl with the water, and looking over with interest. Flushing, Kagome fled from the kitchen, heading down the hall in the opposite direction she'd come from.

What a disaster…

Rounding the corner, Kagome realized the party itself, while being quite loud in some parts, was actually only made up of a handful of high schoolers. She had found a small sitting room that, while lit, was completely free of party guests and very enticing. The room was cozy and made her sigh out with relief. She wouldn't have to attend the uncomfortable party after all. Kagome sank onto the sofa gratefully, sipping her water, wondering how much time she would have to spend in the sitting room.

And that was the first time she saw Inuyasha. Looking around the room with vague interest, Kagome realized she was not alone. There was, in fact, a boy slouched in one corner, seemingly napping in an uncomfortable position. He wore only a red tee shirt and loose-fitted jeans, and his dirty feet were bare. His head was slumped forward, an entire bottle of sake grasped in one hand. A couple of empty cans were on their sides, a ways away from his unconscious body. Atop his head, a set of perfectly cute dog ears.

"Oh!" Kagome gasped. While she was aware that hanyous did in fact attend her school, she had never really met one, or even spoken to one. A lot of the time they kept their, ah, non-human "parts" hidden, so as not to draw too much attention to their blood status. Of course, full-fledged demons did not attend public school, but Kagome knew there were hanyous that preferred to live among humans.

She just never figured she would run into one.

"H-hello?" Kagome approached the boy with sudden interest, eyes on his dog ears. He was indeed asleep. His mouth hung upon just slightly, and he was snoring quietly, almost cutely, his chin hanging close to his chest. He was not much older than Kagome, she guessed, though he could definitely be older technically, she figured in hanyou years he probably only had a year on her.

"I think I wanna… touch them…" Kagome thought she must have been in a trance. What else could explain how she freely allowed herself to smooth her fingers across the poor boy's ears, reveling in their softness, as if he were a common house pet! A strange drunken noise came out of the boy, and Kagome suddenly felt heated, awkward, and immediately attempted to fix her mistake - too late.

"AHH!" The boy was awake then, and she had never been more humiliated. The bottle was flung up, and the liquid hit Kagome full in the face, right into her mouth, which had been hanging open in shock. The boy attempted to right himself, but only succeeded in keeping the bottle upright.

"AGH!" Kagome jumped back, startled, coughing and spitting. The boy was blinking rapidly, obviously in some sort of drunken stupor.

"What're you doin, Kikyou? Here to rub salt in the wound?" He rose to his feet, glaring at Kagome with so much hate that she was completely baffled. He shook the bottle at her as if brandishing a sword, and she only gaped at the boy stupidly.

"What did you call me?" she demanded, using her sleeve to wipe the remaining sake from her face. "Kikyou who? I'm Kagome!"

"Oh…" A slow smile appeared on the boy's face, stretching into a lazy grin. "Thought you.. thought you were somethin' else…"

"Someone?" Kagome prompted, wondering if the boy needed help far beyond what she could offer.

"Y-yeah…" the boy stretched, pulling himself off the floor. "What, what were you doin' to my ears? They're… sensitive." Kagome had the decency to blush.

"Uhh, sorry about that! And I'm sorry about this, Kikyou person."

"S'fine, was just too sleepy to figure it out. You smell totally different." Kagome squinted, realizing the boy had very bright, very beautiful golden eyes. She was hardly disturbed by the question, more so by her own actions - was he part dog demon, then?

"My, smell?" she finally asked, her cheeks darkening even more when she watched him realize she was staring.

"Yeah," the boy shrugged. "You smell, you smell kinda nice. Hey… you can have some of my sake if you want, I kinda stole the bottle. Parents always keep the good stuff hidden."

 _(end of flashback)_

Looking back on it, Kagome should have known it was a disaster to begin with. Falling for a guy in the midst of his breakup with his girlfriend was just not a great situation to be in. Never mind that he had mistaken her for his ex. Never mind that he had stolen an entire bottle of sake for himself.

Never mind that his ex was no longer an ex.

Kagome shook her head gently as if to ease her self out of those memories. She was in the library, it was a Tuesday afternoon, and she had several hundred pages of reading due for the week. Already.

"God damn it…" Kagome stared down at the book in front of her. _The Lake_ by Banana Yoshimoto. She could hardly get through a page without being reminded of Inuyasha. She was a literature student, she always figured she would be, but she never realized how hard it would be to enter college with so much emotional baggage that she was forced to connect to her every day studies for good marks. Everywhere she looked, tragic love stories were blossoming both inside and outside of reality. Students were hooking up while she recited Shakespearean passages about love and deceit and jealousy. She would need to learn to be a stronger person, to have nerves of steel, to be less God damn sentimental if she was ever going to get through her studies.

That was part of why she came to university, anyway.

Kagome's roommate was someone both more sweet and more inquisitive than Kagome anticipated. Little Rin, a girl hardly pushing five feet, a girl who liked to wear colorful kimonos and sang to herself every day, seemed much more girl than woman to Kagome. Yet she seemed to know everything about Kagome's predicament, and had only known her for a very short time. Most of what she had learned about Kagome she had guessed. Some information Kagome had willingly shared. Kagome would be lying if she said she disliked the girl, though; something about her was comforting, and she was definitely useful for advice.

"So you met Inuyasha at a party?" Rin was cross-stitching on her bed, legs folded under her as she skillfully maneuvered the small needle. Everything about the girl was graceful. Kagome, meanwhile, was lying face down on a bed that was covered in books she needed to have finished read already, sighing loudly and often. Pages stuck to her face and pencils poked her uncomfortably. She had yet to find a hobby that would keep her grounded, and now she knew she would never get the chance to read for fun while she was a literature student.

"Yep, and I was only in middle school," Kagome turned over, side-eyeing Rin as she crushed books in her attempt to be comfortable. "I actually haven't been to a party since, believe it or not."

"Maybe that's a solution!" Rin dropped her needle to clap her hands together. "Kagome, what happened last time you went to a party?"

"I had a miserable time?"

"No, the other part."

"I found a passed out hanyou and fondled his ears?"

"And?"

"And I went on to fall in love with him and have my heart ripped to shreds?"

"Yes! I mean uh, yes to the first part of that. Maybe if you start going to parties you'll find someone else. Think about it, one party, five years of being in love? Think of what another party could bring you!"

"Well when you put it like that," Kagome huffed, sitting up in her bed to collect all the books she'd left. She groaned at the sight of them. She'd never have time to read them all!

"How come you never went to parties in high school?" Rin resumed her cross-stitching. "It sounds like you were popular and had lots of friends! I was home schooled, I would've loved to have had that experience!"

"I guess I spent most of my time with Inuyasha," Kagome confessed, finally finished with stacking her books. She carried them over to her desk, promptly slapping them down next to a secondary stack of books. She rubbed her eyes, hoping the menacing rectangles would disappear.

"He must be really kind," Rin offered, her eyes growing shiny. "Is he really handsome?"

"Kind? Only in my dreams. Handsome? Well…" Kagome blushed, then decided the question could not answered in her current state. "Maybe we should consider venturing to some parties. We are at university, after all." Rin winked at Kagome, noticing her slip.

"I've never been to a bar, either," Rin sighed dreamily. "We could make a weekend of it! Try some new things, meet some people. I've only really talked to you since we got here, Kagome. And I like you a lot! I just, I've never had friends, you know? I want to… meet people." Rin's voice grew soft, and she turned away, gazing out the window wistfully. The window sill was adorned with a collection of potted plants, which contrasted nicely with Rin's sunshine-yellow quilt. Kagome smiled at Rin's back. She was the sweetest person Kagome had ever met. No wonder she'd been home schooled.

"I haven't really met anyone either. Only problem is, we need to hear about a party to go to one." Kagome sighed. "Well, we can still go to a bar! That could be fun. There's at least one on campus…" Kagome bent over, stretching her legs. They felt cramped from her many hours spent in the library. "But it's only Tuesday! I think I'm going to try out the gym, this stress is getting to me and that might be the healthiest way to deal with it." Kagome turned to her closet, eyes sliding over her cell phone, which was crammed between stacks of books. The screen had lit up briefly.

 _I need to talk to you._

Kagome flipped her phone over so she couldn't see the screen, moving to grab her gym clothes from the shelf and her iPod.

"Let me know if you come up with any party schemes!" Kagome practically ran from the room, heart clenching. She hadn't spoken to Inuyasha in weeks…

"Will do!" Rin chimed, eyes still lingering out the window in innocent bliss.


	3. Clueless and Breathless

**Chapter Three: Clueless and Breathless**

A/N: Desperate for feedback so any review you want to drop me is welcome!

* * *

Twenty-year-old Inuyasha stretched out on the grass beneath him, sighing, pulling his arms behind his head in anticipation of finally finding peace for the first time that week. A gentle breeze shifted the silver bangs in his eyes, and he blinked with irritation and shoved them away, growling as he adjusted himself. The hillside he frequented, located at an equidistant point between Kagome Higurashi's home and his own, had always been a calm place in which he could indulge himself in bliss and quiet. Something was irritating him today, however; a kink in his neck, a bruise on his thigh, and the absence of the girl who had once laid with him on that same hillside.

He could not for the life of him get comfortable.

Opening one eye, the boy pulled a shabby flip phone from his pocket and proceeded to attempt to turn the volume up, but realized with a flash of shame and self-pity that the phone had been turned up to full volume, and had been that way for days previously. He wondered, with a touch of optimism, if maybe the damnable thing was broken, then thought better of it.

His best friend was ignoring him. Not for the first time and definitely not for the last time, but she had never been so out of reach, so impossible to contact. The young hanyou squinted at the blue, cloudless sky above him, and growled at the perfect sun, so taunting in its splendor. Everything felt unnatural, from the birds in the park to the empty space that seemed to stretch on forever. Everything was too happy and bright for his taste. Even his favorite ramen, which he'd attempted to eat just before coming to the park, tasted like sand on his tongue. He dropped the phone on the grass, frustrated.

"Why won't she talk to me?" he asked himself, the question cutting through him. He shuddered gently, sitting up and glaring at his phone as if to punish her in return. He flipped the phone open and stared at his unanswered messages. He hadn't begged her to respond - he was too proud for that - but he was becoming desperate. He'd had a hell of a couple months, waiting for… something to change. And it had, just not in the way he'd expected.

It'd started that first night, his brief goodbye with Kagome knotting his stomach and making him clumsy and distracted. He'd tried to say goodbye, but he just wasn't made for that sort of thing. He settled for checking in on her one last time, but even that had felt so painful, seeing her dismantle the small space in which they'd spent so many hours in one another's presence. There was too much emptiness, too little of her left behind. And he couldn't say goodbye to Kagome, because she wasn't really leaving him, was she? That hadn't been evident to him, at least not at first.

And then Kikyou had stood him up. He'd stayed at that table until the restaurant had closed, and several bowls of sake and a bottle of pinot noir later, he'd wound up at Miroku's, plastered and moaning on the couch, not even bothering to recount the story to his lecherous companion. Not that he needed to. Miroku seemed to understand, and had only joined Inuyasha in drinking rather than bothering to console him. Miroku had expected this behavior from Inuyasha, as he'd known the hanyou for years and knew his connection to Kagome was an intense one that could not be easily forgotten. Based on the absence of his on-and-off longtime girlfriend Sango, Inuyasha figured Miroku wasn't much better off that nights.

Still. A hangover and several days of contemplation later, Inuyasha had decided Kagome was enjoying university life. She had never been great at staying in touch with people, especially when she was having a good time elsewhere. She often forgot to tell her family where she was going and was known for being flighty and scatter-brained, something her mother had forgiven long ago. But he had thought their friendship was different. He felt indescribably hurt by her silence. Maybe her phone had broken, maybe she got bad service - but he knew, when he remembered their empty goodbye, that there was more to Kagome's silence than a simple accident.

There was always something more with Kagome.

"Damn it," Inuyasha hated feeling helpless more than anything. Kagome had a way of disabling him with a look, sinking his heart with a pout, knocking the air from his lungs with flirtatious smile. She could hurt him so much more than she realized, and she was.

Kikyou was being strange too, of course, but that was nothing new, nothing earth-shattering at least. Since they had renewed their relationship she had been distant as well… she would appear at strange times, seeking him out, then would withdraw when he responded in turn. He allowed her to control their incessant tug-of-war, knowing she had her needs and her reasons that she would never allow him to understand. She hadn't even apologized for flaking on their date, and he hadn't asked for an apology in turn. She had become impossible to predict, and what was more, it was almost as if she'd forgotten they were together again. She used him, simply put, and he was too much of a baka to do anything about it. The glass smiles and blank eyes only made him pine for Kagome more.

 _Kagome_. Inuyasha tried not to feel the emotions that burned through him every time he thought of her. He thought of her smile, so beautiful it rendered him speechless at times. She hadn't been smiling at him lately, and he'd noticed, but for her to suddenly disappear from his life altogether…

He needed advice, he decided begrudgingly. Unfortunately, he only had three friends, and Kagome was at the top of that list. Maybe, just maybe he could talk to Sango, if Miroku could keep himself busy and not tease him too much, but Inuyasha knew he would not be able to ask for help with a clear head on his shoulders…

"More drinks it is," he sighed, opening his phone again and selecting Miroku's number. He wasn't beaten yet.

* * *

Kagome knew she was out of shape, but hadn't expected that running a few miles would be so hard on her. The first mile wasn't too difficult, as she hummed along to her favorite pop artists, the blood pumping through her veins really made her feel renewed and healthier than she had in weeks. That second mile had started to hurt her, however, and when she realized she hadn't brought water, she determined she could do one more mile without the stuff - that was until she staggered off the treadmill, suddenly clammy to the touch, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She clung to the wall dumbly, grateful for the emptiness of the gym. Where's that water fountain? She tried to steady her breathing, feeling like such a baka.

"Whoa," a boy appeared at the stop of the stairs above the treadmills, looking down on her with concern over the railing. He was tan and muscular and definitely had a couple years on her, but when she saw how cute he was Kagome immediately cringed and attempted to right herself, humiliated before he'd even introduced himself.

"Ah - " Kagome straightened, averting her eyes. "Any idea where, uh, the water fountain might be?"

The bronzed boy was already skipping down the steps, however, nearly flying down them with grace and agility that Kagome thought she'd never seen before. She realized much later that he had been trying to impress her from the start.

"Drink all of this," he ordered, placing a clear blue bottle in her hands. His hand lingered on her wrist, and he seemed to be checking her pulse, but as Kagome gulped down the water gratefully she couldn't help but color at his attention.

"Uhh, thank you." Kagome dropped the bottle from her mouth, gasping lightly at the relief. She had been close to passing out, she realized.

"Running off some steam?" the boy inquired, eyes meeting hers. They were a bright, piercing blue, and his hair was held up in a high pony. The seriousness of his tone was not lost on Kagome, nor was the rising flirtatious smile as he examined her. He had stopped checking her pulse but was still holding her wrist as if they were in the final stages of a first date. Kagome hadn't received that kind of attention since Hojo, and her complexion betrayed her, darkening even more due to his boldness.

"You could say that," Kagome mumbled, bottle of water hanging uselessly at her side. "I'm Kagome."

"Kouga, third year, track star, and single," he declared, settling on a full smirk. Kagome became increasingly aware of her spankies and tank top, as well as the amount of sweat they had absorbed.

"First year and uh, amateur runner." Kagome wish she could sound just a little more composed, but this Kouga seemed to like her as a damsel-in-distress. "You must frequent the gym a lot then, huh?"

Of course, Kouga let out a loud bark of laughter at that, and Kagome wanted to disappear into the floor.

"You could say that," Kouga winked at her. "Remember to bring water next time, alright, girlie?" He released her wrist and turned towards the stairs. "Kagome. I'll remember that name."

Kagome blinked hard. She reached for a towel from a nearby rack, willing herself to be more calm and cool. She would probably never see Kouga the Track Star again, but he'd left quite the impression on her.

Her walk back to the dorm was slow. Her legs wobbled unevenly, as she'd forgotten to stretch after her encounter with Kouga the track star, and she was too embarrassed from her incident to pay a whole lot of attention to the sights around her. She wondered briefly if Inuyasha would be upset.

And what right would he have? a bitter voice inside her spoke up. He doesn't own you. He doesn't even like you like that. Why should he deserve your whole heart?

"He doesn't," Kagome decided out loud, toying with her student ID as she sidestepped a couple picnicked out in front of one of the first year dorms. "He deserves absolutely nothing from me if he's going to treat me like his property!"

He hasn't actually done anything wrong lately, though. You're the one ignoring him. What do you have to be so upset about?

"Oh shut up, how would you know anything?" Kagome stopped when she realized the couple she had sidestepped was watching her talk to herself. She turned away and hurried up the hill her dorm was on.

"I'm never going to get invited to any parties."

* * *

"She left without saying goodbye?" Miroku sipped at his beer, forcing himself not to wince at the poor quality of the drink he almost never sampled. "That doesn't sound like her."

The boys were in Miroku's apartment, enough alcohol to knock out a small army surrounding them in bottles and coolers. Miroku's place was party central, as far as anyone from the nearby university was concerned, but more often than not it was Miroku's close friends who visited privately, both for the booze and the "wisdom" that Miroku offered - namely, how to woo the women they were interested in. Inuyasha hated talking to Miroku about relationships and women because he considered himself to have very different ideals from his lecherous friend, but Miroku's longtime girlfriend Sango had also been absent, and Inuyasha had very few friends to turn to (no other friends in fact). Plus he was desperate.

"I didn't really give her much of a chance. I had a date with Kikyou that night." Inuyasha crossed and uncrossed his arms, eyes on the collection of empty cans next to him. "Keh. Not that it mattered."

"And how is the fine Lady Kikyou?" Miroku closed his eyes and downed the rest of his can. It was a Friday night, after all, and he was twenty years of age. Inuyasha snorted, not for the first time that night.

"As fine and as distant as always."

"Well, you know my views on the topic."

"She needs me," Inuyasha fumed, glaring at Miroku. "What can I do?"

"Does she need you, Inuyasha? Or does she need someone to ignore and treat poorly so she can feel better about herself?"

"Keh. What do you know."

"That she has stood you up multiple times in the span of a few weeks. That she hates Kagome and has only ever spoken badly of her. That, while beautiful and kind, she has not once thought of your needs since renewing your relationship."

"She knows I'm fine without - "

"Inuyasha, you are in a bad relationship, borderline abusive." Miroku sighed and placed his beer can on his bedside table, next to an empty bottle of cheap sake. "If you don't want to do anything about it that is your decision. Just know you cannot be happy with that woman unless she decides to put effort in - which she doesn't." Miroku slid off his bed, joining Inuyasha on the floor. "Trust me. I dated many women before Sango, and this is not uncommon behavior for a grieving partner. Sometimes, when a person has been hurt, they forget that they aren't the only ones who feel pain. Sometimes, when a person decides they have been wronged, they make it a point to wrong everyone else, just to prove a point. She may not be in a good place to be with you intimately."

"What are you saying," Inuyasha mumbled, cheeks reddening. "I wanted to have this conversation with Sango," he added quietly to himself.

"Kikyou may or may not have cheated on you. No one really knows what happened. But clearly something else went on with her that caused her to resent you, and even once she forgave you, she could not entirely forget that betrayal, imagined or otherwise… Plus, you're really not being fair to poor Kagome."

"You think - wait, Kagome? What does she have to do with - "

"I think Kikyou has motives for 'keeping you' that may not be healthy or wise." Miroku waited for Inuyasha to get angry, as he always did when Miroku or Sango spoke poorly of Kikyou, but for once the drunken hanyou seemed to be speechless. He nodded mutely, eyes downcast, and mumbled something unintelligible. Miroku noticed the dark circles around his friends eyes, and realized quietly that Inuyasha was hurting a lot more than he let on.

"She is much more affectionate in public than in private."

"What?"

"When she knows Kagome is looking, she kisses me whenever she gets the chance."

"I see."

"She puts me on display. Makes sure everyone knows who I belong to. Then when we're alone…"

"Go on."

"It's like she's looking straight through me. Like I'm barely there at all."

Miroku considered Inuyasha's words, feeling only pity for his friend, who had loved the older woman for so long. For as long as Miroku had known him, really. Miroku adjusted his rumpled shirt, fixing the color of the midnight-blue button-down.

"Then I guess we should go to the bar." Inuyasha sighed with relief. The band-aid had been ripped off, the conversation had ended, and he finally had some perspective -

"Ahh," when Inuyasha stood up a rush of blood caused his vision to grow blurry for a moment. "Miroku…"

"Yes, my oblivious friend?"

"Why is Kagome ignoring me? Why does Kikyou want to hurt her?" Miroku, who had chosen that moment to drink down more of his beer, gagged and began to cough, pounding his chest and shooting Inuyasha incredulous looks.

"The second question answers the first, Inuyasha. Did you really think you could have them both?"

"What?"

"Right," Miroku offered an arm to Inuyasha, who pointedly ignored it as he headed to the door. "Bar, then. We are only twenty once!" Inuyasha flattened his ears but nodded, his mind reeling. He would visit Kagome, he decided, before the night was over he would find her and apologize -

"Let us drink and make merry!" Miroku cheered, following after. "Plus I need a few more drinks in me before I crawl back to Sango and apologize."

"What did you even do?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but I know it has something to do with my, ah, little problem with getting distracted by her." Inuyasha snorted.

"Idiot."


	4. Hearsay

**Chapter Four: Hearsay**

The bar was decently full for a Wednesday, with a crowd of regulars from the nearby university filling most of the seats, and a line of the local alcoholics frequenting the counter. Inuyasha and Miroku found their way to the last remaining booth in the corner, shrugging off their sweatshirts immediately.

The bar was called August Moon and was as typical as they come. The music was generic, there were two TVs airing two different sports stations, and the tables were never quite clean. Still, being that the crowd was mostly youthful and groups were lining up to play pool, the ambiance was good. The bartender had bad eyes and let practically anyone in if they were brave enough to flash their ID, which meant any courageous freshman could get themselves a drink even if they weren't yet twenty. The place itself was a little out of Inuyasha and Miroku's way, but they were good at traveling efficiently, and besides, they both had girls on their minds that they knew to be around those parts.

Not that either of them had really admitted to having an ulterior motive for being there.

The bartender nodded to Miroku upon entry, his bald head shining under the dim light. Miroku was the kind of guy bartenders always greeted, albeit a little uneasily.

"Shall I get the first round?" Miroku asked, eyes moving to the small group of university girls nearby who were smiling at him and whispering. Inuyasha nodded, scowling when he caught what the girls were saying.

"Do you even want Sango to forgive you, or do you just like torturing yourself?"

"Of course I do, Inuyasha! But as I have asked a thousand times before: why should she care who I look at if she won't even trouble me with a phone call?" Smiling tiredly, Miroku went up to the counter without another word. Inuyasha felt a twinge of guilt that he easily shrugged off. Miroku knew he was a lecher, and he knew that Sango was aware of that fact as well. His problems were entirely his own fault.

"Whiskey sour!" Inuyasha yelled at his retreating back, grumbling as he slid down into the booth. He was already well on his way to being drunk, but his dark mood would not allow him to cut himself off, at least not yet. He had a small trill of hope going through him: the bar was on the outskirts of Kagome's campus, and while the chances of running into her were slim to none, Inuyasha knew if he got drunk enough, he would have the courage to go see her…

Inuyasha stretched out, listening casually to the conversations going on around him. A few of the girls had noted his ears appreciatively, not an uncommon conversation for Inuyasha to overhear for certain. Others in the bar were talking about how drunk they were, or how much they wanted to find a hook-up before the weekend had begun… Things Inuyasha had never understood, nor did he care to -

"Ohhmygosh, is that Kouga?!" the same girls who had liked his ears were buzzing excitedly, sipping at their beers, nudging each other as a scruffy, dark haired boy entered the bar with two equally scruffy companions. Inuyasha immediately smelled the youkai on them despite his drunken state, and scoffed. Wolves.

"He's so hot," a girl with a head full of curls said, cheeks aflame.

"Unattainably so," mourned her straight-haired friend.

"Whiskey sour with extra lemon," Miroku's voice interrupted Inuyasha's eavesdropping to deliver him his drink. Inuyasha smelled the wolves drawing closer, and his scowl deepened when they sat down at a nearby table while the girls trilled mindlessly. Not that he was any better off; pretty much everyone in the stuffy bar was in a mindless state.

"Keh," Inuyasha gulped down about half his drink, flicking his ears. The sour taste made him more alert, but he knew that was only a temporary feeling. He was drinking too much, too fast.

"What's up with you?" Miroku took a shallow sip of his gin and tonic, catching sight of the youkai that had entered the bar. He shrugged good-naturedly.

"Wolf stench," Inuyasha commented. "Loud university students. Kinda drunk. Take your pick."

"Could it have anything to do with the fair Kagome being nearby?"

"Did you see her?!" Inuyasha sat up quickly, his drink sloshing in his hand.

"No, I'm just aware that she and Sango are both enrolled at the nearby university. Is that not why we chose this bar?"

"Had to have just been you. I hadn't even thought of it."

"Inuyasha, you're a terrible liar."

The whiskey sour was gone and Inuyasha's world was permanently tilted.

"I might have had enough to drink," was his only comment. Miroku nodded in agreement. The boys sat in silence for a while, before Inuyasha's face suddenly flushed crimson, his eyes darkening as well.

"What is it - "

"Shh." Inuyasha turned his ears in the direction of the youkai.

"She's beautiful," the ringleader was saying, feet up on an empty chair. He was holding two beers and smirking confidently as he alternated between the two, as if it were a competition that he had already won. "Silly girl didn't bring any water to the gym, so I used that as an excuse to go to her rescue and chat her up. Quite the flirty type too, I definitely need to run into her again and invite her this weekend." His companions were both snickering with delight. Inuyasha frowned…

"You said her name was Kagome? That's such a pretty name, Kouga!" You'd have thought Kouga had named the girl himself, the way they were gloating.

"Mhm. Definitely a freshman. Not afraid to show some skin, either - "

Inuyasha stood up, face completely red at this point, his fists clenched. Miroku saw a flash of blue in his eyes.

"What was she wearing?!" Kouga's other companion with the nasally voice asked.

"Let's get some air, Inuyasha," Miroku said, abandoning his drink.

Inuyasha took a breath, trying to shake off the alcohol. He would pummel that mangy wolf -

"Not here," Miroku answered as if hearing his friend's thoughts. He grabbed Inuyasha's arm, earning himself a low growl, but ignored him in favor of easing him out of the bar, grabbing their sweatshirts along the way. He could do nothing, however, to keep Inuyasha from making eyes at Kouga, the ringleader of the wolf youkai. Kouga's smirk only broadened upon seeing the enraged hanyou.

"Is that a dog demon I see?" Kouga called out. "Why don't you sit down for a drink, pal?"

Miroku all but dragged Inuyasha out of there.

"What did he say?" Miroku's eyes were intent on his friend's face.

Inuyasha was attempting to regain control of himself. Fuck. He forgot being drunk made him susceptible to changing like that. Stupid.

"He met Kagome. Wants to, wants to fuck her probably, he was bragging about seeing her - "

"Inuyasha." Miroku relaxed. "You should know by now everyone wants Kagome. She's not going to touch him, she - " Inuyasha bared his teeth. Miroku's comment hadn't helped.

"He said she flirted with him, Miroku!" Inuyasha pulled his red sweatshirt back on over his head, rumpling his silver hair. "I don't know why I got so mad, but he's just - he's disgusting, and going into a bar and talking about her like that - he can't just - "

"Are you jealous?"

"NO." Inuyasha leaned against the wall outside the bar, trying to regain composure, his eyes on the empty street before him. He tried to summon Kikyo's face, tried to remember the unreserved smile she only ever gifted him with, because "they loved each other and he made her happy".

Kagome's sad expression while she packed for university was the only thing he could seem to remember in his drunken state. The way she'd glared at him and seemed annoyed at him for lying on her bed, even though he always lied there because it was nice and smelled like her -

"You can lie to me all you want, but if you want to be her friend again you can't get drunk and then try to fight guys in bars over her."

"I wasn't going to fight him!"

"Dude," Miroku sighed. "Do you still love Kikyou?" Inuyasha closed his eyes.

"I don't know - "

"Then you need to break up with her."

"You think I should?"

"Only if you want to, Inuyasha. But if you're questioning things…"

The boys stood in silence outside the bar for a while, uncomfortably drunk and entirely clueless. Inuyasha spent the rest of the week moping and trying not to look at his phone.

* * *

 _Two days later…_

"I can't believe we're going to a party! This is going to be so fun!" Rin excitedly flipped through her kimonos, eyes dancing as she admired her collection. The evening was upon them and Kagome had received the invite during her last lecture of the day. Kouga's friend Ginta had approached her, flushed as he spoke to her. Kagome thought it was cute; he was clearly easily intimidated by women, and seemed to admire her a lot.

"Lady Kagome, my friend Kouga would like for me to - uh, that is, I would like to as well - invite you to the party we're having in our den! That's on Peach St, second floor in the blue house -"

"Kouga? Oh! Thanks, that sounds great!"

"My name is, uh, Ginta by the way - I'm on the track team - "

The poor kid had been wearing a track suit at the time, and had over explained his position as on the track team and Kouga's friend. Kagome had giggled and thanked him again, complimenting his track suit generously. This caused him to turn bright red and run off, realizing his blunder.

"It's probably too casual for a kimono Rin," Kagome said as she stared into her own closet. "I might just wear jeans."

"But Kagome," Rin turned abruptly, looking concerned. "This is our first party at university! We have to make a good impression. And besides, you have such nice clothes, it would be a shame if you didn't get a chance to wear them to something besides a stuffy old lecture! We never got to dress up in high school, after all."

"That might be true," Kagome said, turning back to her closet. She looked up at her top shelf and spotted her little stash. "Maybe we should pre game this, to take the edge off." Kagome's jitters were driving her nuts. She didn't even know what made her suggest it - she'd never had vodka before, after all.

"Ooh," Rin grinned. "Kagome wants to get tipsy? You must be nervous. Is Kouga really that cute?"

"Something like that." Inuyasha hadn't texted her since Tuesday, and while it was unfair of her to expect him to keep texting her while she was in a state of completely ignoring him, she still felt put out without the attention. Maybe he and Kikyou had made up. She couldn't quite remember if they had actually been in the midst of a fight, but they were always having problems, as far as Kagome could tell.

She could admit to being a little unfair. She could very easily text him back. She remembered the few times she'd seen him drunk, worked up and flushed, but more honest than he usually was… She could use some liquid courage, she decided, maybe then she would talk to him…

Kagome reached up on the shelf and grabbed a shoe box. She opened the box and smiled despite herself when Rin laughed. A 40 oz of vodka alongside about a dozen nips, all Smirnoff.

"How'd you get this?" Kagome wasn't yet twenty.

"Sango's treat to me pre-university. She thought it would come in handy."

"I love Sango," Rin sighed, recalling the pretty older girl who had visited Kagome the week before. She exuded confidence and strength, although she had seemed a little sad at the time.

"Can I have a nip?"

"I'm not going to drink them all myself!"

And that's how Rin and Kagome wound up giggling on the floor with half a bottle of vodka* between the two of them an hour and a half later, nips shoved in the pockets of their skirts. Rin wore a purple sweater with a flower stitched on the front, and Kagome a fuzzy blue one. They both wore short jean skirts.

"This is sooo gross!" Rin cried as she capped the bottle, reaching for her bottle of water. The girls both had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard.

"We can't drink more at the party!" Kagome declared. "This is the first time I've ever been drunk! Ugh, how will I face Kouga?"

"Really? Your first time?" Rin oo-ed at Kagome, who was now lying flat on her back, looking content.

"I definitely don't want more than this tonight. But yeah, first time being drunk. I never had more than a couple cups of sake, and that was only on very special occasions. And there was that one time with Inuyasha…"

Rin smiled and sat up.

"You love him a lot don't you?"

Kagome didn't say anything, and thankfully she was already red from the Smirnoff.

"He was my best friend. We just haven't felt normal in a long time. I guess going to college changes things."

"Not to mention his horrendous girlfriend Kikyou."

"She's not horrendous! She just doesn't like me…"

"I can't imagine anyone not liking you, Kagome! You're the most likable person ever!"

"Keh," Kagome froze when she recognized the sound that came out of her mouth. She stood up, wobbling. "I don't blame her. Inuyasha has always been protective of me. It's natural for her to feel neglected." Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, feeling the bitterness well up inside her…

"I'm going to drink a whole bottle of water. Then let's go to the party!" Kagome moved to her desk, eyes on her phone. No new messages. She turned it on, looking back at her old messages.

 _What did I do?_

Kagome bit her lip. She thought of a thousand snarky remarks she could make, something to set him off, something to have him at her door, yelling and demanding an apology, just like in high school. Kagome wrote out a message quickly and put her phone to the side, afraid to see his response suddenly. She drank her water absently, eyes on her Madame Butterfly poster.

 _You didn't do anything. I'm sorry Inuyasha._

His response came before Kagome had finished sipping her water.

 _Can I see you?_

Kagome felt her stomach drop as if she had missed a step on the stairs.

"Ready to go?" Rin asked cheerily. Kagome nodded, shoving her phone in her purse, trying to ignore the stab of guilt she felt. She reached for the saltines on her desk.

"Yeah, just about. Let's go party with the wolves."

The party was crowded, stuffy, and full of free booze - that is, Strongbows and cheap sake. Kagome and Rin wove through crowds of smoking track kids, holding hands with big drunk smiles on their faces. (They would've smiled just as much if they were in a Walmart parking lot - they both were quite giggly.)

"There's Kouga!" Kagome proclaimed. Ginta and Kouga were leaning against the counter in the kitchen of the flat, matching sleeveless purple running shirts and all. Perfectly bronzed, muscular arms, were flexed casually as the boys chatted over their beers. Ginta saw Kagome first and blushed, nudging Kouga, who immediately straightened up.

"Kagome, how lovely to see you. And who might this beautiful girl be?" Kagome and Rin both giggled as they maneuvered around a couple of sophomores.

"This is my roommate Rin. We are both very grateful for the invitation, Kouga." Rin squeezed Kagome's hand, glancing around at all the people partying. The boy-to-girl ratio was about 4:1, and the music was less than pleasant, undoubtedly dubstep.

"I'm grateful you both decided to come. Could I get either of you something to drink?"

"Water for both of us," Kagome requested prettily. Kouga raised his eyebrows. "We're both a little tipsy."

"Two waters coming right up." Kouga nudged Ginta, keeping his eyes on Kagome.

"Ah, Rin, want to see the snack table?" Ginta somehow wound up leading Rin away without Kagome's consent, leaving her gaping and blushing.

Kagome felt her hand being grasped by Kouga, and her cheeks darkened as her eyes continued to follow Rin's disappearing form.

"Kagome," Kouga's voice changed, becoming huskier, almost - emotional? Kagome forced herself to meet his eyes, suddenly very alarmed and very badly needing to find the bathroom.

"Uh, yes, Kouga?" Kagome felt her hands (yes, he was grasping both of them) go clammy in his. His were warm, almost unbearably so, almost feverish, Kagome thought. His blue eyes were wide with affection, which Kagome felt was unfair. Had she not only spoken to him once before? She felt somewhat queasy, her vision somewhat fuzzy.

"You are one of the most beautiful girls I've met in a long time," he said, not at all quieting his voice. Kagome felt an audience form around her, and she swallowed.

"T-thanks Kouga, you're not so bad yourself!" Kouga laughed heartily.

"Will you honor me with a dance tonight, beautiful Kagome?"

"Uhhh, sure! But, Kouga, could I - "

"Ask me anything, Kagome."

"Could I, use your… bathroom?" Kouga laughed again and Kagome took the opportunity to slip her sweaty hands out of his. She scratched the back of her head, skirting her eyes away from Kouga's earnest expression.

"It's just down the hall, Lady Kagome. Please, find me when you're ready for that dance…" Kagome disappeared down the hallway before Kouga had finished his sentiments, feeling eyes follow her as she escaped. So many purple track shirts, so few girls to ally herself with.

As fate would have it, there was a line for the bathroom. Kagome slumped against the wall and texted Rin where she was, wondering if they should vacate the party sooner rather than later. Kagome wanted to have fun, and wanted to make friends, but Kouga's near admission of love had her feeling as if she was about to be properly courted. However…

There was something refreshing about his honestly, she had to admit. After years of trying to get Inuyasha to be comfortable hugging her (he still very rarely would embrace her, and when he did he was often embarrassed and would avoid looking at her) having a boy express his attraction to her so openly was kind of nice. Her self esteem wasn't helped by Inuyasha's rejection of her; not that he had technically rejected her, but he basically had…

Kagome took her time in the bathroom when it was her turn, sitting down and once again checking her messages from Inuyasha. She hadn't responded to his last one - Can I see you? - But Kagome could feel herself breaking. So what if it made her look pathetic? She missed Inuyasha. So much.

Kagome went to respond to Inuyasha, taking a deep breath, but before she could type out a response he had already texted her again.

 _Never mind. Have fun tonight with the wolves. Be careful._


	5. Hangover Cure

**Chapter Five: Hangover Cure**

 **A/N: Posting this later than I meant to, but it might be worth the wait!**

* * *

Kagome eased the bathroom door open and slipped into the hall, feeling dull and no longer interested in the party. How did Inuyasha know where she was? Was he around? Why did she feel so guilty?

"Kagome," Rin had somehow appeared next to Kagome, smiling tiredly, clearly less drunk than she had been initially. "What shall we do?"

"I'm not really in the mood for much," Kagome confessed. "I don't want more to drink and I don't want to dance - "

"Thank God," Rin relaxed. "Can we go? That Ginta guy was kind of being weird. We didn't really hit it off and I kind of felt like he was just trying to distract me - "

"Probably because Kouga is trying to court me like a proper Japanese man should," Kagome laughed tonelessly. "He practically proposed Rin, it was unbelievable. And a little much for me if I'm being honest. I'd get pizza with the guy but I'm not about naming our kids yet."

"Understandable!" Rin giggled. "Don't let him down too hard." The girls stopped at the end of the hall, in the quietest space they'd found at the party. They winced when a loud storm of cheers erupted from the dance room down past the bathroom.

"I don't think I'll let him down," Kagome mumbled, feeling her vision go hazy for a second. She slumped against the wall. "He's still cute. Maybe if I just ask him to take it down a notch and go on a casual date with me - "

"Whoa!" Rin grasped Kagome's wrist, looking serious. "You like him like that?" Kagome froze and felt the guilt rise up inside her again. She shouldn't feel bad! Inuyasha didn't deserve her heart, she'd decided! Not that he'd even wanted it.

"I, could like him…" Kagome said carefully. "I could feel something. If I knew him a little better, maybe."

"Ah." Rin paused. "In that case, let him know we're leaving, and maybe set something up."

"Sounds like a plan!" With her trademark false bravado, Kagome set off with Rin to find the ringleader wolf boy, tying up their one loose end before heading back to their dorm for the evening. Kagome went to bed that night with a crumpled up piece of paper in hand, wolf boy's number printed in a clumsy, drunken slope on the page.

* * *

Inuyasha was anxious.

He was up before the sun the next day, tired, red eyes trained to the ceiling of his apartment before he could even think of going back to sleep. His room was dimly lit, and around him, stacks of DC comics and random books that had mostly been gifts from Kagome that he had never read. His room was untidy, of course - identical red tee shirts were thrown about, with similarly styled rumpled jeans accompanying them, and beer cans littered every surface.

A single poster was hung up, a large picture of a full moon, gleaming down on him. Inuyasha always felt most powerful in the light of the full moon, and Kagome had given him the poster for his eighteenth birthday, telling him she wanted him to feel more confident in himself…

And weirdly, it sort of worked. Although it mostly reminded him of the mentioned girl, and how much she meant to him.

Groaning, Inuyasha pulled his pillow out from under him and attempted to suffocate himself with it. No such luck.

Kagome had been out last night, he was sure of it, and he'd heard Kouga's proclamation in the bar loud and clear. Kouga wanted Kagome, and he was going to pursue her. The problem was, Inuyasha didn't want to admit to how he had come about obtaining this knowledge: if Kagome knew he was lingering around her campus, she would have so many questions for him, and he knew that it would somehow upset her that he'd been around, catching those tidbits of her life that she would have otherwise shared with him herself…

He was being an idiot, for sure. But how could he go see Kagome? She had finally answered him last night, only to go back to the radio silence she had been torturing him with, and he was sure that meant he had already earned her disapproval (or Kouga had been distracting her all night, something he didn't want to admit was a likely possibility).

Damn, if she had spent the night with Kouga, if his bravado in the bar was any indication -

"FUCK!" Inuyasha sat up and glared at the rising sun, his window giving him a perfect view of the orange ball ascending into the sky, another day of torment greeting him. Good morning, Inuyasha! Are you ready for more suffering?!

It was then the hanyou realized he needed to see Kagome. That day, if he could. The more time he spent thinking about how he was supposed to approach her about the great lot of nothing that had occurred between them for the last couple of months, the crazier he felt. She knew what he was like, anyway. She had dealt with him refusing to let her run away from him before. She knew the drill. Kagome wants some space after a yelling match? Tough. Inuyasha could barely hold out for a couple hours in high school before finding the girl and demanding they talk out their issues, even if that meant a loud, angry yelling match that ended in Kagome being cold to him for days after the fact. Sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn't. But no matter what happened, they had never stopped being friends. And if this went on any longer, Inuyasha was afraid he would lose the most important person in his life.

* * *

Kagome wished she was dead.

She moaned pointedly when Rin handed her a steaming cup of tea and a piece of dry toast. Her head was throbbing and her stomach ached horribly, and as if that wasn't enough, she kept glimpsing Kouga's phone number, barely legible on a crumpled piece of paper, half-tucked under her pillow - a grim reminder of the embarrassing night she'd had.

"Why aren't you hungover?" she asked Rin bitterly, eyes heavy as she stared at the offensive paper.

"I drank two liters of water before I went to bed! I tried to get you up, but you were out cold almost as soon as you touched your bed…"

"Typical." Kagome loved sleeping more than most things. It wasn't a surprise that Drunk Kagome had passed out without a thought.

"And you're still wearing last night's outfit, except, you seem to have lost the pants."

"Thank you, Rin," Kagome mumbled, sipping her tea carefully (it was true she was only wearing the cozy blue sweater and her pink panties). Her comforter was wrapped around her head and hung off her shoulders, giving her a hungover holy woman look that probably was a lot more shameful than cute. The tea soothed her, but she knew she would need to down a couple gallons of water to make up for the dehydration her body had suffered.

"Also, your phone has been beeping since six…"

"What?" Kagome's head shot up, effectively causing her tea to spill onto her bed. She didn't even notice, eyes greedily seeking out the phone that was across from her, sitting innocently on her desk.

"Wonder who it is," Rin grabbed the phone and handed it to Kagome with a wink. "Anyway, I'm going to head to the library to catch up on some work! Good luck with your hangover, Kags." Rin grabbed her bag from the floor and scurried out, leaving Kagome to fumble with her tea and phone.

 _Are you up?_

 _Kagome, I NEED TO SEE YOU TODAY._

 _Respond immediately if you're alive._

 _I'm taking your silence to mean you're in trouble and need me to go to you immediately._

"What?!" Kagome sat up quickly and felt her heart thud dangerously in her chest. No, nonono, Inuyasha could not see her after two months looking like some hungover idiot, in bed with her blanket wrapped around her like she was a fucking babushka -

A resounding knock on the door made her open her mouth to scream, but before she could, Rin was peeping in, all giggles.

"She seems to be conscious! Kagome, someone's here to - "

"Let me in then," came an irritable voice. Kagome gasped and put the tea down, working to cover herself without knocking over her toast. It was like her prayers had been answered, but at the exact wrong time.

Before she knew it, Inuyasha was standing before her, fully alert and fully dressed, while she was a crumpled, hungover mess on her bed, unable to reach her tea, body swathed ridiculously in her fluffy pink comforter.

"Uhhh, hello," she offered him, wincing. Her head was still pounding, to top it off.

"Rough night?" he asked stiffly, crossing his arms. Kagome stared at him blankly, then became aware of Rin, still peeking in. She at least had the decency to look guilty.

"I'll just uhh, be at the library!" she popped out of the room after Kagome's eyes lingered on her for half a second too long. Kagome flushed when she heard the sound of the door locking from the other side. Inuyasha continued to glare down at her despite the loud click of the lock behind him.

"You're up early," Kagome said conversationally. She attempted to heave herself up - and failed.

"It's eleven o'clock, Kagome," Inuyasha said, seating himself at the end of her bed finally, his eyes finally shifting to the rest of the room. He hadn't been around to see the transition she'd made. The room was decidedly less cozy than Kagome's old room, but the familiar pink comforter and the wall decorations still made him feel better. Kagome was still his best friend, two months of silence be damned.

"Yeah, well - "

"Did you go out and party with the wolf youkai?"

"Yes."

"And how was it?"

"Fine, thank you."

"Did you drink too much?"

"Yes."

"That's stupid of you."

"Look who's talking."

"Do you like Kouga?"

"What?"

Kagome fumbled more with her blanket, wondering how Inuyasha knew so much of what had gone on. She wasn't surprised, he'd probably gathered information just from eavesdropping, but it irritated her that she knew nothing of what he'd been up to and he knew everything about her life.

Inuyasha wasn't glaring anymore, but something about him was still tense, was still frustrated. His eyes suddenly would not unlock from hers, his lips tight. A single fang poked out of his mouth.

"You heard the question," he huffed after a moment of intense staring. "I'm just wondering if I have to fight off any dangerous wolf youkai before you do something stupid - "

"He's not dangerous, he's just _passionate_ ," Kagome emphasized, finally yanking her arms out of the comforter and grabbing her toast. She recalled the night before with embarrassment, but she found she couldn't bring herself to tell Inuyasha the truth: Kouga had mortified her. "For your information he is one of the only friends I have made since I got here, and I've been quite lonely. And anyway, how do you even know so much about what I've been up to?!"

"I, uh, overheard some talk… but you could've seen me, ya know, instead of sulking about having no friends! Hell, you could've answered my texts - "

Inuyasha broke off and just looked at her again, turning his whole body to face her, pleading she understand without him having to give a speech. Kagome swallowed thickly and stared at her toast.

"I needed space. I'm sorry."

"Well, it hurt, Kagome."

"I didn't know what to do. You were busy with Kikyou and I wanted… space. To figure things out."

"What does that mean?"

"You know what it means!"

"I really don't!" Kagome sighed and quickly finished her toast in a couple of bites. Her stomach was settling down, but her head still hurt. She laid back down, Inuyasha be damned, and closed her eyes. She rubbed the space between her eyebrows, willing the ache to go away.

Kagome felt the weight of a body settle next to her. She opened her eyes, staring into two pools of gold, her chest feeling warm.

"What does it mean, Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice was softer then, and Kagome didn't know what to make of him, barging into her room, lying down in her bed with her as if no time had passed at all, asking so many questions…

"How did you know where I live?" she asked instead of answering his question.

"I'll tell you if you tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"What you meant, damn it! What were you trying to figure out? Why did you run away from me?" Was she imagining it, or did he sound about as heartbroken as she felt? Kagome bit her lip when she saw that he had flattened his ears, and try as he might, he couldn't hide the flash of pain that flickered across his face.

Fuck.

"Kikyou hates me, Inuyasha. It's not exactly a secret. I couldn't… I can't, deal with that kind of pressure. I don't want to compete for your attention anymore. You're… more important to me than that."

"Kagome…" Oh, Gods. Kagome almost yelped when she felt her best friend's arms wrap around her, and then she remembered, she wasn't wearing pants under the blanket!

"…there is no competition. You're my best friend. I need you, can't you see that?"

Kagome closed her eyes, resting her throbbing head against his chest. She remembered the looks, the kisses she'd accidentally watched them exchange, the uncanny ability Kikyou had to appear at the exact moments Kagome thought she could have Inuyasha to herself… interrupting moments like these, when Kagome was curled against him, wishing she could have his whole heart…

"I'll stay with you, Inuyasha."

"What?" They did not break away from one another; the hug was needed, was necessary in fact, but Kagome almost split in half when she heard the hope in Inuyasha's voice. He loved her in some way, even if it wasn't the way she wanted him to.

"I'll stay with you. Even if it means dealing with the fact that Kikyou hates me, I will stay." Inuyasha buried his face in her neck, not speaking, just focusing on the scent that haunted his dreams, kept him up at night with longing. Being with Kagome was like going home.

Inuyasha shifted his arm under Kagome, his hand brushing against something that felt like a piece of scrap paper. He snatched it, freeing his arms, eyes wide as he read the name, then darkened, suddenly, slowly taking in each digit.

"Must've been a great party," he said finally. Kagome got up slowly, keeping the blanket wrapped around her. She watched Inuyasha's face as it darkened, his hand closing on the paper.

"It wasn't, really - "

"Don't see how it couldn't have been - "

"It was kinda crowded, everyone was a little too drunk - "

" - yeah, I noticed - "

"I met him at the gym, he's pretty nice - "

" - y-you're not going to call him, are you?!"

"I don't know, he mentioned getting lunch - "

"Lunch?!"

"There's a good ramen restaurant he likes - "

" _Ramen_?!"

"It could be fun - "

"A-As if!" Inuyasha flew to his feet, eyes wild as he glanced around the room, as if searching for signs that the stinking wolf shit had been present.

"What's your problem?!" Kagome jumped to her feet, pant-less and angry, and attempted to snatch the phone number back from Inuyasha, who seemed to have a death grip on the offensive scrap.

"I can't believe you're thinking of going out with this guy!"

"I get along with him! He's sweet!"

"He reeks of wolf shit!"

"He does not! And what does that make you?!"

"FUCK, Kagome!" Inuyasha took a step closer to her, dropping the paper on the ground as his hands found her hips, bare except for a small pink strip of cloth - "Please don't, I can't handle, I mean, he's disgusting - "

"…Inuyasha?" Kagome stared up at him, Kouga forgotten as she took in the heat coming off the hanyou's body, as she felt his hands tighten on her bare skin.

"Kagome…" Inuyasha stopped sputtering, realizing what he had done, what he wanted to do. Kagome's lips were parted slightly, and she smelled so fucking good, and she was staring at him in the exact way he was afraid she'd looked at Kouga. But she couldn't have, she was looking at him, and suddenly he mattered to her, was still important to her, was still her best friend…

"I… I have to go," Inuyasha was out the door before Kagome could blink, and she sighed, eyes dropping down to the phone number that had caused such an emotional reaction from her hanyou. He wasn't hers, she told her fast-beating heart as she retrieved the number. She couldn't keep wanting him while he belonged to another.

She would move on, even if it meant learning that Inuyasha truly was only her friend. There were other fish in the sea - other canines in the forest, it seemed.


	6. Curiosity Killed the Hanyou

**Chapter Six: Curiosity Killed the Hanyou**

Apparently Sango had been away for a while visiting her sick brother across the country, which was why she hadn't been around for the drunk Inuyasha and Miroku escapades. It was just as well, as Inuyasha had assumed Miroku had pissed her off enough to make her want to leave. That wasn't entirely ruled out as a plausible offense, but when Inuyasha asked Miroku had kicked him hard enough to keep him from speaking of the matter again.

Sango had apparently taken the start of the semester off, choosing instead to care for her brother Kohaku. She didn't often talk to her friends about her younger brother's illness, but they knew he was stationed permanently at a psychiatric hospital. Which was the main reason Sango was getting her undergraduate degree in psychology.

When the trio were reunited after a long break, all three of them struggled to not think of Kagome. Her absence felt strangest to Sango, who had not been around for her transition to university - and her transition into avoiding Inuyasha. The only topic of interest other than Kagome's absence seemed to be her love life, a conversation which Inuyasha continually attempted to derail.

"I could go for some rice balls. What d'you guys say?" Inuyasha asked from his place on the floor. He was at Miroku's apartment, lying flat on his back, dangling Miroku's roommate's cat Koko above him. The cat mewed, a long, loud sound that would have caused most people to abandon the creature. Inuyasha only continued his torture, a satisfied smirk on his face.

Sango and Miroku sat on the futon above Inuyasha, watching his progress with Koko disinterestedly. Sango ignored Inuyasha's question and looked at her boyfriend instead.

"So Kouga the track star, huh?"

Inuyasha's smirk immediately disappeared.

"The one and only. Apparently he has left quite the impression on Kagome. He isn't someone we need to take care of, is he?"

"Of course he is!" Inuyasha tossed a fluffed out Koko to the side, glaring at Miroku. "He's older than her! And he throws disgusting frat parties! And he smells like wolf shit!"

"He's relatively harmless," Sango continued as if Inuyasha hadn't spoken. "I've known him since I started going to university. He's pretty well known because he's broken just about every school record there is for running track, and he's there on a scholarship and everything. But apparently he isn't the best with actual academics. They let him slide because of the whole track star thing. Oh! But he is the exact same age as Inuyasha, which is interesting."

"I knew he was an idiot," Inuyasha huffed, raising his voice in an effort to be noticed by his friends. He crossed his arms. "And what does my age have to do with anything?!"

"Is he uh, a ladies' man?" Miroku asked, a guilty flash in his eyes not going unnoticed by Sango. She gazed at him blankly, mouth twitching slightly.

"Why? Want to get tips for the next time I go off to visit Kohaku?" Inuyasha's eyes widened when he heard Sango. No wonder she hadn't bothered to tell Miroku where she went.

"I am looking out for our dear innocent friend Kagome! I would hate for her reputation to be tarnished, especially seeing as she just started going to this school!"

"He's only dated one or two girls tops. He flirts a lot, but he mostly sticks with his friends. If he says he likes Kagome, I can't see why we shouldn't believe him. Plus he isn't too hard on the eyes."

"He smells like wolf shit," Inuyasha said again, gritting his teeth. "And he looks like wolf shit too, for that matter."

"How do you know what he looks like?" Sango turned her bright eyes, highlighted by her signature pink eyeshadow, to the irritable hanyou. Inuyasha deepened his scowl in response.

"I - ran into him at a function," he stammered.

"We encountered him at a bar," Miroku said, rolling his eyes. "Inuyasha was hoping to run into Kagome, though. Instead we met her new suitor."

"Hey! You were hoping to run into Sango!"

"She was across the city!"

"But you didn't know that, idiot."

"Would you both shut up for a second?" Sango huffed. "Let's talk more about this new development. Have they gone on any dates?" Inuyasha groaned loudly in protest, but Miroku brightened at the suggestion.

"Excellent. So this date they're going on, it's merely a lunch date, so we have nothing to really be concerned about. Kouga is probably a perfect gentleman, anyway. I don't know why Inuyasha has been so hysterical, honestly. Kouga seems like quite the catch, and he doesn't even seem to be trying to move too quickly on our girl!"

"He's hysterical clearly because he is allowed to date whoever he wants, but Kagome needs to stay pure and single and wait for him because she's a woman, and she should know that he's been secretly in love with her, even though he's never told anyone."

Inuyasha jumped to his feet, glaring at his friends. Wordlessly he stomped out of the room, startling Koko, who had taken refuge under a desk chair. The tabby cat fled to Miroku's bedroom. The front door of the apartment closed with a loud bang.

"He really needs to break up with Kikyou," Miroku whispered when he was sure Inuyasha was out of earshot. Sango nestled closer to him, dropping her head on his shoulder and sighing as if she had used up all her energy trying to be patient with Inuyasha.

"So you've been saying for the past year now. I can't believe Kagome has dealt with it for this long. I think this date will be good for her."

"Where is she going with him?"

"Some ramen bar down the street from their school. I think she said she was going today. Probably so Kouga can line up something with her for Friday if it goes well."

"For her sake, I hope it does."

Unfortunately for Kagome, Inuyasha wasn't out of earshot. In fact, he had plastered his ear to the door as soon as he'd slammed it.

* * *

"Does this outfit say, 'interested but not ready to mate for life'?"

Kagome turned in front of Rin, displaying her project that she'd been working on for the past two hours: looking nice, but not too nice for her date with Kouga. When she'd agreed to go out with him he'd practically proposed, in a very public, we-are-now-an-item fashion. Kagome had expected as much, and while she had prepared herself for the worst, she had still cringed and blushed all the way through.

The outfit was pretty cute, but hopefully not too cute. Kagome wore a high rise pleated navy blue skirt with a yellow fuzzy sweater crop top, complete with black knee high stockings. Rin glanced up from her cross-stitching and nodded appreciatively.

"He's going to be deeply in love with you by the end of the week."

Kagome groaned and threw herself down on her bed, effectively burying herself in half her wardrobe.

"I know it's pathetic to be upset about a guy showing you a lot of affection, but I wish he was a bit less showy - "

"It does come across as a bit desperate."

"Desperate I could handle. The guy is a real piece of work, and he's so possessive. I mentioned Inuyasha once to him and he got all huffy - "

"Probably because Inuyasha is also deeply in love with you."

"He is not!" Kagome huffed, kicking her legs up onto the bed and pushing a couple blouses to the floor. "He's a different kind of possessive, Inuyasha sees me as a - "

"If you say sister I'm going to barf." Rin giggled at Kagome's groans. The girl attracted some funny men. "When are you going to the restaurant?"

"After my two pm lecture. It's on what is probably the worst Shakespeare play I've ever read."

"Sounds thrilling."

"I know. Should be a good time." Kagome pulled her phone out of the wreckage on her bed and flicked through the messages - three unread from Inuyasha and six from Kouga. No surprises there.

 _You were joking about seeing the wolf, weren't you?_

 _Kagome tell me!_

 _Wanna have a monster movie marathon?_

Kagome smirked despite herself. She and Inuyasha had been marathoning monster movies since the start of their friendship. Too bad he was clearly trying to get her to cancel on Kouga.

* * *

Kagome couldn't believe how obnoxious her classmates could be.

"Petruchio is clearly designed to be a caricature of the quote-un-quote 'English gentleman'. He clearly does not care who he marries so long as his bride caters to his needs, and his taming of Katherina is probably just a satirical rendition of what women had to endure during the sixteenth century!" The girl, Akari, seemed very pleased with her own analysis of the play, crossing her arms as if daring someone to debate with her. Kagome rolled her eyes as the girl silently celebrated her victory with a confident smile, while the rest of the class looked at the seminar instructor with blank eyes.

"That is a theory that scholars have proposed, but on the other hand, some think that we give William Shakespeare a little too much credit. He was, as you have alluded to, born in the sixteenth century." The instructor was an English girl named Sarah who seemed a lot more trustworthy to Kagome simply because she came from the same place as the text itself. She was a tall girl, taller than most of her students, and spoke quietly and not often. She would ask questions to attempt to engage her seminar group, but mostly it was Akari who would spew her opinions, sometimes mindlessly, in an attempt to get the best marks.

"But he's Shakespeare," Akari argued. "Can you really ever give him too much credit?"

"Good point Akari. But remember, despite his genius, he still lived under a belief system that saw women as being inherently lesser, and subscribed to that belief system. Most women could not own land, and very few were offered what we would now consider a real education. While Shakespeare created powerful women in his plays, they did not often go beyond the traditional roles women were expected to take on, at least in a legal sense."

"So did Shakespeare just think torturing Katherina was funny? He made her into this ugly, angry sister that got pawned off, and no one even wanted her because she was undesirable compared to Bianca, and he saw her humiliation as something entertaining? That's totally misogynistic!" the girl who sat next to Akari, Kiyo, blinked a set of gorgeous brown eyes on an otherwise dull face. Kagome watched her soft features contort as she attempted to understand the motivation behind writing such an aggravating play.

"The Taming of the Shrew is a comedy," Sarah reminded her.

"That's disgusting. I like Akari's theory better," she muttered.

 _Me too_ , Kagome thought, eyes on the page in front of her. She imagined herself standing next to Kikyou, and imagined if they were both the sisters in the play. She then remembered her first time actually meeting the woman, when she and Inuyasha got back together…

 _"I already know you," Kikyou had interrupted Kagome's stammering introduction, cold eyes glancing over the younger girl. "You seem younger than I thought you were."_

 _"I'm seventeen," Kagome responded, feeling embarrassed. Even her voice seemed small when she announced her age to the woman. Kikyou was only nineteen, but she spoke with authority and precision, something Kagome had never been able to do. Her high waisted, flowing red skirt made her seem taller, powerful somehow. She moved past Kagome to gently hold Inuyasha's arm, Kagome forgotten._

 _"I'm so glad you finally get to meet each other," Inuyasha said, smiling at his girlfriend and best friend. Kagome stared at him, her stomach churning. He could read her better than anyone usually, but when it came to this, he understood nothing._

 _"Inuyasha, you promised to accompany me at the community gathering tonight, we must get going, I'm helping with the preparations…" Kagome wondered at the vagueness of her explanation._

 _She watched them walk away, heart breaking when Inuyasha tossed her an apologetic half-smile. She stupidly wondered why Inuyasha was bothering to go if Kikyou was the one helping with preparations._

 _Kikyou was always dragging him to religious sites and ceremonies, and he never complained, despite being adamantly atheist. But God forbid Kagome go see a movie with him that he didn't like._

Kikyou was calm, beautiful, intelligent, desirable, spiritual. She was a Bianca. Of course she was. Kagome was loud, confused, headstrong… she was the humiliated Katherina. The one who no one wanted.

The seminar ended before Kagome could think to speak her opinion on the play, mind too focused on parallels to really notice the time. She pulled her notebook and books to her chest, trailing after her classmates as they exited, barely hearing a handful of them bicker about Katherina's role. Was she her own person, in the end? Or did she truly allow herself to be tamed? Or was she putting on a show, to protect herself?

Kagome was so dazed she didn't even realize Kouga was standing before her, sharp blue eyes gleaming.

"Kagome." She gasped, startled, eyes shooting up to meet his. They were in a stairwell, so Kouga motioned for her to take his arm and guided her out of the building smoothly, attracting the attention of Kagome's classmates, who all knew Kouga but didn't even know Kagome's name.

Kouga was in his usual get-up: a bright purple running tank top and matching shorts, sweat bands snapped tightly to his head and wrists. Kagome blushed lightly when she eyed his bare biceps and legs, wondering why such an attractive guy had decided to pursue her.

Her blush, however, had a lot more to do with the attention Kouga showed her rather than his actual presence. Maybe she wasn't a Katherina, but she still wasn't quite a Bianca either.

"Are you okay? How was your seminar, Kagome?" Kouga's smile actually warmed Kagome a bit as she broke out of her reverie to stare openly at the boy who was essentially courting her. It felt nice to be wanted, even if it wasn't by the guy she was in love with. Still, her stomach tightened when she recalled Inuyasha's recent visit to her room. Stop. Don't feel guilty for him.

"Long. By the third hour the conversation can get tedious, especially when it's the same few people talking. What are you doing near this building? You're a business student!"

"Can't I come pick up my girl from class?" Kouga continued walking, keeping his hand on Kagome's arm, which remained securely wrapped around his. "Just thought I'd say hey and make sure we're still on for our date."

"Of course," Kagome smiled. "I just have to go to my dorm and freshen up a bit."

"No problem." He winked. "I can walk over with you, if you're okay with that."

"I am."

"Great!" They walked in companionable silence for a while, Kagome flustered as she attempted to think of something to say to the popular track star. She noticed a few envious glances shot her way as they walked through the quad, finally reaching the side of campus that had all the dormitories.

"Anything on your mind?" Kouga asked smoothly as they approached Kagome's dorm.

"Oh! Ah, nothing, just looking forward to our date Kouga."

"I'm so glad. Maybe after this date we can set up something for Friday."

"That would be great! I'll, uh, let you know - "

"There's another party at our flat on Friday, you should be there at ten." Before Kagome could react Kouga had planted a quick kiss to her forehead. "Actually, I'll pick you up in half an hour. I gotta go take care of something." He was gone in an instant, leaving Kagome gaping. A cloud of dust had been kicked up where he'd been. Sighing, Kagome slipped into her dorm.

At the corner of her eye, she saw something bright red flash by.

"Inuyasha?" she stopped halfway through the door, her heart aching for a split second. She turned away from the dorm, allowing the door to shut, examining the area surrounding the building. No one in sight, save for a couple of girls sun bathing further away. Kagome bit her lip as she searched for signs of her hanyou, but saw nothing. She glanced up at the tree that was nearly as tall as the building itself, eyes following a leaf as it fell from a branch, wondering, hoping…

"I'm pathetic," she decided finally, shoulders slumping. She thought about the stupid boy too much. Forcing herself to not look up at the three again, Kagome went inside, books pressed tightly to her chest.

Inuyasha groaned from his spot high up in the tree. Part of him had wanted Kagome to see him. Another part of him still ached from what he had seen, and couldn't admit that he'd come expecting exactly what he saw. Five years of friendship with Kagome and he had never kissed any part of her face. Five days of friendship with Kagome and Kouga had already set up two dates and kissed her before they even went on those dates. He felt so sick when he realized how close Kouga was to being allowed to give her a real kiss. She hadn't dated anyone since the Hobo boy, Inuyasha had never even considered…

Fuck, did he feel pathetic.

"I have to break up with Kikyou," he said finally, drawing his knees up to his chin and staring glumly at the surrounding tree. He dug out and flipped open his old phone, opening up his previous messages with Kikyou, hesitating at what he saw.

So many times she had stood him up, but so many times she had requested he go to her. Everything was on her schedule. Everything was when she needed it. He had never had Kikyou, he realized, but she had him. She had him for so long, he was afraid to be anything besides hers. Damn he was starting to feel sorry for himself.

Did he love her? Did he even care if she no longer wanted him? If he was still questioning that, probably not. Did she love him? Nothing would have surprised him. She was a mystery, she was everything and nothing. Maybe he'd loved what he thought she was, a long time ago. But now he was lucky if he could guess one thing right about her.

The phone's ring in his ear seemed loud, cutting through Inuyasha as he tried to calm himself. Just as it was about to go to voicemail, Kikyou's voice washed over him. He almost forgot, for a moment, why he'd called.

"Inuyasha." They hadn't spoken in at least a week, and her voice betrayed nothing, as usual. No surprise, no feeling, just his name. Enough to drive him crazy as he wondered what could possibly be going through her mind. Was that what had kept them going for so long? The sense of mystery that she had, the fact that he had never truly been allowed to know her?

But what else was new? Maybe that was how Kikyou kept people interested in her: by giving them nothing.

"Hey, Kikyou," he said, remembering all the times he'd relished her name. It felt stale on his tongue, just dropping her name like that, without any sort of enjoyment. He felt like such an ass.

"Is there a particular reason you are calling me? I'm about to go to the shrine with my mother."

"Uhh, yeah, Kikyou? Could we meet up tonight? Are you free?" Kikyou sighed, aggravated.

"I suppose you can meet me afterwards. I can meet at the Starbucks down the road from my apartment, but don't be late."

Inuyasha scowled. "Well, what time should I be there?"

Kikyou sighed again. "Eight o'clock should be fine. See you then." She clicked off the phone before Inuyasha could say more, and he gulped at the finality in her voice. As if she were about to break up with him. He turned to look down at Kagome's dorm, tempted to seek refuge in her room, to maybe find reassurance before he faced Kikyou.

He couldn't do that, though. Not so soon after she'd been with Kouga. Not right before he spoke with Kikyou. He would probably just piss her off: the first words out of his mouth would be about Kouga.

When had things become so fucking complicated?

 **A/N: So clearly I'm the worst. I just got a new job and moved to a new apartment so it's been difficult to focus on this, but enough of you still seem interested so I'll try and see where this goes! Thanks for the support, it means a lot to me.**

 **-SML**


	7. Beginnings and Endings

**Chapter Seven: Beginnings and Endings**

Inuyasha was sweating. The Starbucks was quite warm but practically empty, being that it was eight pm. He faced the street, eyes dull as he watched the sky fully darken, ignoring the people who passed by that probed him with curious stares. He was too used to the staring, the questioning eyes – even more used to the hateful comments some uttered when they thought he couldn't hear. He caught every whisper despite the thick glass that separated him from them, and let the comments fall away from him like flies. He was there for a reason, and all the slurs in the world couldn't take his mind off the task at hand.

The only other people in the building seemed to be older men working on their memoirs or their novels or whatever it was that people did alone in cafes, and to them he wasn't worth more than a troubled sigh. His presence was irksome to the older generation specifically; those who had been taught to hate and fear him, had spent lifetimes wishing they could stamp out his kind for good. He was much more welcome among ignorant youths who mostly just wanted permission to touch his ears. Inuyasha aggressively slurped down the black coffee he'd ordered. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. It was lukewarm and a little watered down for his taste. It only served to make him even more jittery than he already was, as he shifted uncomfortably and tried not to look at the time.

Damn it, he was breaking up with his girlfriend of four years in a fucking Starbucks.

He checked his phone after a moment of hesitation. 8:13. Kikyou, the queen of commitment, was never around exactly when she said she would be – at least when it concerned him. Inuyasha wondered if it was a tactic she used to keep him pining, and felt miserable at the idea.

"Would you like to take a look at our menu?" a high-pitched customer service voice disturbed him from his sulking. Inuyasha glanced over his shoulder and saw the young barista who had poured him his coffee trying to hand him a small green menu. She was small and sweet and looked oddly nervous, her head bobbing as she bounced on her heels. Short black hair fell into her face as she waited for his response.

"No," he said.

"Well, let me know if there's anything else I can get you," she offered, taking a little too long to get the words out. She turned and went back to her station, and Inuyasha sighed.

8:15.

The door opened then, and Inuyasha quickly turned his whole body towards it. A teenage couple walked in, holding hands even as they passed through the narrow entrance, barely fitting in the doorway together. The guy had silvery hair that he'd clearly dyed, and the girl was wearing her high school uniform. Their smiles were too big, and they looked too familiar.

A bitterness filled Inuyasha's mouth. He'd wasted so much time.

"Hello, Inuyasha." Practically knocking his cup of coffee over, Inuyasha jumped to his feet, spinning around and taking in the image of his girlfriend standing before him. Some of the coffee sloshed onto the table, but neither of them took notice. She wore her usual high waisted red skirt and a flowy white blouse. Her hair was longer than ever, surrounding her face and cascading down her back in long, straight tendrils. She looked magical, her beauty unreal. She always looked that way. Her face was a cold mask, however, and her eyes were as vacant as ever.

"Hey," Inuyasha said, already feeling foolish. "Uh, have a seat."

"I'd like to get my drink first, if you don't mind." She dropped a small leather bag onto the seat across from him and turned away. She went to get in line between the two teenagers, who were bickering about which flavor of frappucinos to get.

 _I'm in hell._ His thought was interrupted when his phone beeped loudly from his pocket, still turned on to max volume from the many days of pining after Kagome. Inuyasha fished out the warn out flip phone, immediately feeling giddy when he saw that Kagome had actually responded to one of his messages. He opened it immediately.

 _Let's watch some of those movies this weekend._

"Yes!" Inuyasha cheered. His thumbs flew across the keyboard. He couldn't get a response out fast enough.

 _Your place or mine? Godzilla? Alien?_

"And what is so exciting?" Kikyou slipped into the booth across from him, hands firm on a hot cup.

"Uh," Inuyasha floundered. "Kagome did well on a test I helped her study for." This wasn't the first time Inuyasha lied about hanging out with Kagome to Kikyou. He realized his slip up with a flash of guilt, then wondered why he'd lied in the first place. Kikyou raised her eyebrows but said nothing, her usual reaction to anything Kagome related. "So… what drink did you get?"

"My usual drink, Inuyasha." He frowned. Was he supposed to know what that was?

"Oh."

"So why did you ask me to come here on one of my busier days?" Kikyou asked, her voice bearing no hint of curiosity or even that she cared about the reason for seeing her boyfriend - as if there needed to be a reason.

Inuyasha stared hard at her eyes, then looked away. Maybe there was something wrong with her. Maybe she needed help - but she'd never let him know, never mind let him help her.

Maybe the best thing he could do for both of them was end it.

He took a long breath. "Kikyou - "

She leveled her gaze, almost smiling. He shivered. Had she read his mind? He felt an ache blossom in his right temple. "Inuyasha, I know what you're going to say to me."

"Y-you do?" Then why did you ask?

"Yes. And I understand." She quietly took a sip of her drink. Everything she did was quiet and graceful and beautiful. Inuyasha wondered why she'd put up with him for so long. He also wondered when his heart had stopped wanting her; it must've been a while ago. He'd just stopped paying attention. Fallen into the strange habit of ignoring his own heart.

"How?"

"I wanted you to realize it. We've been building up to this for a long time. And I don't think love has any part in my future."

"Don't say that."

"I'm a spiritual woman, Inuyasha. I loved you as a girl, but I'm a woman now. And my path has become clear to me. Being with you holds me back. I can only think of duty, not of desire."

Somehow she was letting him down easy now. Everything had slowed, and Inuyasha felt almost numb.

"You're breaking up with me?"

"Weren't you going to do the same?"

Inuyasha said nothing. He fidgeted with his coffee cup. It stung, he realized, and she seemed perfectly fine. They sat in silence for a moment, Kikyou remaining unperturbed, Inuyasha desperate for words that could make sense of everything. He was a man of action, not words, however; Kikyou was the poetic one. She hadn't even given him the opportunity to speak his mind, because she already knew what he was thinking, and said it so much more eloquently than he ever could.

"You love Kagome," she said, cutting the silence with a declaration Inuyasha himself could not yet make. He opened his mouth to deny it - he'd heard it before, Miroku and Sango had both arrived at the same conclusion long ago - but found he couldn't. He wasn't sure what he felt, but denying it felt like a lie. He tried not to dwell on that.

"I care about you," he said finally. Do I love Kagome?

"I know. And I won't forget that." She stood up, holding her cup of whatever, another stupid mystery that she wouldn't fill him in on. Why was everything so cryptic with her? They were high school sweethearts, not undead lovers full of secrets and riddles.

"Wait…" Inuyasha swallowed. "I'll miss you."

"And I you." She left without saying goodbye, in the usual Kikyou fashion. Inuyasha watched her go, feeling odd. He thought he'd be the one to leave Kikyou, but she had a way of staying one step ahead of him, understanding much more about himself than he ever could.

"Well, fuck."

* * *

Across the city, in the same moment Inuyasha was throwing away a cup of cold coffee, a waiter brought Kagome and Kouga their food. They ate their ramen in sweet, tense silence. Kouga's sharp blue eyes lingered on Kagome between every bite, looking as satisfied with her as he was with the noodles he slurped down. Kagome blushed coquettishly, unsure of how to respond to such undeserved devotion. She barely knew Kouga, but she liked the way he looked at her. She wasn't sure if she had been looked at like that before with the same level of respect – even if he was a little too earnest in his pursuit of her.

"How's the ramen?" Kagome said. She had been eating slowly and unsurely, self-conscious under his scrutiny. She could barely taste it herself.

"Delicious!" Kouga put his bowl down, fiddling with the chop sticks in his hand. "I usually only come here with the other wolves, but you are worthy of exception."

"Oh, uhh, thank you! That's so nice." Kagome stared down into her bowl.

"Fear not," Kouga dropped his sticks and seized Kagome's hand, which had barely been in his reach. She almost spilled her ramen at the unexpected motion. His broad grin seemed genuine enough – but Kagome resisted the urge to pull away, an uncomfortable tightening in her chest making it hard to breathe. "I swear to you I am a free man, not tied down by my brothers in purple or my various commitments. I am honorable and will never abandon them, but I will always make time for the lovely Kagome Higurashi when she desires my presence."

Kagome smiled nervously as a nearby couple watched them. "I've never felt more appreciated."

"Get used to the feeling, darling." Kouga released her with finality, then resumed scarfing down his meal. Kagome took a couple more bites but found herself too perturbed to eat more. She glanced out the window nearest to her, eyes hopeful on the street lamps that cast their strange orange glow onto a blank road. She imagined Inuyasha's scowling face observing the date from the shadows, and wondered if he was nearby, or if he was out with Kikyou, or if he was waiting impatiently for her at her dorm… and thought better of it.

 _Stop thinking about him,_ she instructed herself, a bubble of anxiety threatening to explode inside of her. _Stop missing him_.

"Tell me about yourself." Kagome blinked, surprised at the statement, thrown at her in the midst of her inward battle.

What was there to say about herself? She thought of high school, unrequited love, long hours in the library spent working her ass off just to pass. She thought of giggling with Rin as they drank vodka nips, she thought of cheesy horror films that she and Inuyasha watched together, she thought of emptying her bedroom of all her childhood possessions. She thought of Inuyasha hopping into her room through her window, looking cocky and pleased with himself.

"There's not a lot to tell. I'm just Kagome."

"I know that isn't true. Someone as beautiful and smart as you must have some stories."

Kagome shrugged. She laced and unlaced her fingers together, trying to think of something interesting to say.

"My best friend is a hanyou." She wasn't sure what made her say it, but there it was. Kouga raised his eyebrows and actually stopped paying attention to his food for a moment.

"What kind of hanyou is she?"

"Uh, he's part dog demon." Kagome watched Kouga's face carefully. His eyes darkened for a moment before his smile returned, but his demeanor had changed, and she wondered what exactly that meant to him, as a wolf demon.

"Is his name Inuyasha by any chance?" Kouga resumed eating, dropping his eyes.

"Actually yes. How did you know?"

"I had a run in with him recently. He was hanging out with some wannabe monk at a local bar. Wasn't too steady on his feet, if you know what I mean."

Kagome was surprised. How often did Inuyasha visit her part of the city without her knowing? And he brought Miroku around?

"I'm not sure, really - "

"Dog was drunk off his ass, looked ready to fight me and my guys too. I think the monk dragged the son of a bitch out. You said that guy is your best friend?"

"We… we went to high school together, I guess we have a history."

"Huh. Well it's a good thing you came to university when you did, Kagome. That guy seemed like bad news to me."

Kagome felt herself heat up at Kouga's casual commentary on her friendship with Inuyasha. What did he know? But it was strange, hearing about Inuyasha being drunk near her school. She didn't remember him ever mentioning being around. She would have to ask Sango about it later.

She hesitated for a moment, wanting to defend Inuyasha.

"He's always been kind to me."

"That's a relief to here."

Kagome bit her lip, realizing Kouga didn't want to speak more about Inuyasha. He had stated his opinion and that was the end of it.

"So… what is it that you study, Kouga?" Kagome spoke the first non-Inuyasha related words she could think of, clasping her hands together under the table. Her palms felt clammy.

"Business," he said through a mouth of ramen. He swallowed wetly. "I will take over my father's business someday, thought I'd snag a degree in the meantime. You know, incase my charm isn't qualification enough." Kagome laughed.

"Oh, you mean there's more to running a business than being a smooth talker?"

"Of course! You also need to be good at making pretty girls laugh." Kouga winked, and on cue Kagome giggled, feeling herself falling into an easy routine of flirtation.

She tried not to think of the pangs she got in her chest every time she glanced outside at the empty street, secretly hoping to see silver and gold. She tried not to feel needless guilt, knowing she had done nothing wrong, and that she needed to enjoy the date she was on, for her own sake. She tried to forget that she was already in love, because she couldn't be that person anymore. She needed to possess her own heart again.

Not having Inuyasha around made Kagome feel haunted. Every flash of silver, every low chuckle, every flash of possessiveness and protectiveness she saw in strangers reminded her of him. It was like she always expected him to appear out of thin air and start bickering with her. She even argued with him in her head sometimes, when she was cooking herself a meal in the dorm kitchen, when she walked home alone at night, even when she was with Kouga - she heard Inuyasha's low growl, warning her to stay away from "dangerous wolves", telling her not to be stupid…

She was in no danger of letting Kouga control her life. He would never break her heart, he couldn't make her cry, he would never be her reason or purpose. And that was exactly why he was perfect for her, she decided. She didn't want to be in love any more.

The night ended in a chaste kiss, something Kagome had anticipated. It wasn't great, but it didn't disgust her, either. Perfect, she thought as she slipped into her pale pink pajamas, smiling gently at Rin's probing questions. Nothing to worry about here.

Just as her head touched the pillow, Kagome found herself grasping for her cell phone in the dark, stretching her arm across the bed sheet to dig the phone out from under her pillow. She hadn't checked it in hours…

 _Your place or mine? Godzilla? Alien?_

Oh. She remembered with renewed guilt the message she'd sent him earlier, and noticed that he had responded within the same minute she'd sent him the message. Kagome tooth a deep breath. She remembered Kouga's disapproval.

 _Why not both?_

She turned onto her side, curling an arm under her pillow, eyes on the screen of her phone.

 _Sounds great._ Pjs and popcorn, like the old days?

Kagome hugged her blankets closer to her. She felt a strange mixture of giddiness and guilt. Why did she keep feeling that way? Inuyasha was her best friend. Kouga was her… suitor? Or something. She could handle it. She knew where the lines were drawn; and anyway, Kikyou was still with Inuyasha. He knew not to cross the line.

 _Of course. Is there any other way to do it?_

No, I don't think there is, Kagome.

Kagome flipped her phone over and buried her face into her pillow. Oh boy. _Oh boy._

* * *

"So you have a date with Kagome lined up already." Miroku's back was turned to Inuyasha as he wrote at his desk, barely paying the hanyou any mind as he worked. Inuyasha crossed his arms and glared at his friend's back. It was midday and Miroku was hard at work, and Inuyasha was bothering him, as per usual.

"I don't."

"Does she think it's a date?"

"She doesn't! I… just want to fix things with her."

"Through an evening of watching movies in your pajamas and cuddling?"

"We - there ain't gonna be cuddling!"

"Are you planning on seducing her, Inuyasha?"

"No! No, of course not!"

"But you're going to kiss the poor unaware Kagome?"

"Well, maybe, if the mood is right – I mean, no! Get yer mind out of the gutter, lech!"

Miroku sighed and swiveled his chair in Inuyasha's direction. His silver-haired friend was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, legs folded under him, arms crossed. They glared at each other for a moment.

"Does Kagome know you broke up with Kikyou?" Miroku asked quietly. Inuyasha felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He remembered the first time Kagome and Kikyou had met – he remembered never before having seen Kikyou look quite so cold, or Kagome ever look so startled.

"Not yet."

"And you didn't think this information important to share with Kagome?"

"I'm getting to it! I just want to tell her in person! It's not like I'm going to throw myself at her."

"And you don't think her going on a second date with Kouga will in any way hinder your great plans for romancing the fair Kagome?"

Inuyasha growled before he could help himself, his insides twisting in on themselves, his chest aching terribly. He had convinced himself there wouldn't be any more dates, there was no way, Kagome's taste was too classy for the likes of some trashy wolf youkai. He couldn't bear the thought of her taking Kouga seriously, of her sweet scent becoming tainted with wolf stench.

"Who told you that?"

"It doesn't matter, Inuyasha. You can't rush her, one way or the other. You've had her heart on a string for years now, demanding her affection so soon after ending things with Kikyou will only cause her more pain."

Inuyasha groaned and stood up, mumbling to himself as he scanned Miroku's room. The dresser was littered with empty cans of Strongbow that Inuyasha himself had drained.

"What was that?"

"I didn't have her heart on a string, what does that even mean?"

"You're going to need to be a little more self-aware than that if you want any of this to work out."

Inuyasha dropped his arms and stretched out on the floor, staring up at a water-stained ceiling. Miroku went back to writing, and the two young men tried to make sense of their conversation, both failing respectively.

"We're just friends," Inuyasha lied. Miroku shook his head. He'd had that argument too many times before.

"Why now?" Miroku said, dropping his pen. He frowned down at the letter. He'd been around for a while; he'd seen the number of ways Inuyasha had managed to break Kagome's heart.

"Why now what?" Inuyasha mumbled.

"Why are you doing this now? Breaking up with Kikyou, pursuing Kagome. Do you even know what you're doing?"

"I'm not… I'm not pursuing her. I just need to know how she feels."

"I'd think that'd be pretty obvious."

"Well, it's not, okay! And these have been some of the hardest fucking months of my life, having her leave me like that, watching her go out with that dirty wolf. I ain't gonna just let her ruin her life with the likes of him!"

"Okay, now imagine this."

"Huh?"

"Imagine Kagome spent the last few years flaking out on you, going steady with Kouga, forgetting about you even. Can you image how hard that would've been?"

"Well, fuck, yeah."

"Okay. Now imagine you're Kagome. You and Kikyou dated for how many years?"

Inuyasha frowned. That was different. He'd been with Kikyou since before he met Kagome, and, well, Kagome didn't have those feelings…

"Keh. Whatever." Miroku rolled his eyes.

"I just hope you know what you're doing, Inuyasha."

* * *

 **Author's Note**

 **Hopefully I got all the typos this time! I went through and edited the previous chapters, so hopefully everything looks good now.**

 **As always, if you want me to continue this, please let me know through a review! It's been a bit of a struggle continuing this and I hope at least some of you are still reading!**

 **-SML**


	8. Identical

**Chapter Eight: Identical**

It was a late Saturday afternoon, around that time where people are still trying to decide if they want to stay in or go out. Kagome had just travelled by bus to get across the city, then took a taxi because his apartment was just far enough away from the bus stop to be a total inconvenience. Of course, it made sense that Inuyasha was barely reachable, even physically.

Kagome took a deep breath, eyes wide as she examined the familiar front door of the shabby apartment building. It was a large complex, made up of twenty stories, dozens of identical narrow apartment blocks stacked together in a neat box against a pearl gray sky. The perfect temporary home for an unemployed hanyou looking for his direction in life. Kagome grasped the straps of her yellow backpack with sweaty palms, trying not to think about why visiting the familiar place felt so strange in this instance.

Kagome shook her head, trying to ease the tension she felt creeping through her limbs down to her toes and fingertips. The door swung open just as she was steeling herself, and she jumped back, yelping like a kitten that had been stepped on.

"You gonna stand there all day or what?" Inuyasha's golden eyes twinkled, his usual smirk making Kagome's insides twist. Did he know how long she'd been standing there? Kagome shot him a glare and ducked under his arm, walking towards the elevator without comment. Inuyasha trailed after her, hands shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants. His feet were bare, as per usual.

"How was the ride over?" Kagome kept her eyes on the light of the elevator, as the old box dinged pitifully in its descent.

"Fine."

They stepped into a dusty elevator. Although Inuyasha always took the stairs, he did live on the eleventh floor, and poor Kagome looked tired enough without the extra exercise. He decided not to complain about her slow pace, much to Kagome's relief.

The metal box moaned in response to Inuyasha punching the button in, and he glanced over at Kagome, more amused than embarrassed at the state of the thing. Kagome eyed him back, suppressing a smile. He was not easing her tension, though – quite the contrary.

"You look wound tight. What gives?" The elevator sluggishly dinged as it went up, and Kagome imagined it breaking in that instant, and felt horrified at the idea. There was no way she could be left alone with Inuyasha in such tight quarters, given how she was currently feeling about being alone in his apartment. _This is doing nothing to help me get over him._

Kagome glared at her friend, wishing he didn't have an uncanny ability to sense when something was off about her. _I hope he can't hear my heart beating_ , she thought miserably.

"I – I haven't been sleeping well, I've had essays to write." Well, it wasn't a lie. The two things were just not as related as Inuyasha would assume.

"Pff. Essays? Like writing those is going to be any help when you get a real job."

"And you would know so much about that, Mr. Slacker?" Mr. Slacker? I sound like an idiot!

"How am I slacker?!"

"How are you not a slacker? Getting drunk all the time, hanging out in bars with Miroku…." Finally, the elevator stopped on the eleventh floor, and Inuyasha quirked an eyebrow at Kagome, allowing her to step in front of him and find her way to his apartment. He followed closely behind, arms folded as he kept his eyes trained to the back of her head.

"How do you know I'm hanging out in bars with Miroku?" Kagome bit her lip, taking too long to respond. Inuyasha caught on, realizing her reluctance to speak up, and slanted his eyes at her.

"Door's unlocked," he said offhandedly. Kagome opened the door and stepped in, dropping her bag immediately onto the kitchen floor and kicking off her shoes.

"I just figured…" Inuyasha scowled.

"Just assumed we were spending all our time in bars?"

"Well, am I wrong?"

"No, but…" Inuyasha slid onto the couch, and Kagome settled in the lone armchair to his right. "…there's something you ain't saying."

Kagome glanced around nervously. The apartment was small, barely allowing for the small tv, sofa, and armchair to coexist. The living room and the kitchen were connected, with a small bedroom and bathroom attached at the back. There was a good sized window behind the tv, though, which was currently obscured by some unflattering plaid curtains.

Inuyasha wasn't the neatest guy around, but he also owned so little that his apartment still appeared sparse. A lone sock hung off the back of the sofa, empty beer cans littered the end table, settled on top of an old newspaper… but there were no framed pictures, no artwork.

"You're paranoid," Kagome mumbled, curling up in the chair, thinking about finding some art for Inuyasha's apartment to make it appear more homey. She pulled the quilt hanging on the chair onto her body, cozying up. His eyes softened for a second when he took in the sight of her, but he retracted the look almost instantly.

"You're the one being all shady!"

"I am not!"

Inuyasha shot her an irritated look. Kagome sighed, twiddling her thumbs on her knees. She avoided his golden eyes, another wave of anxiety and nerves hitting her. Being open with him was probably better. Anyway, what right did he have to get upset with her? His girlfriend had been cruel to her for _years_.

"Kouga told me," she said, so quietly that an average person would've struggled to hear her. She looked up, seeing those golden eyes narrow coldly, and looked away, dropping her cheek to her knees.

Inuyasha didn't say anything for a while, preferring instead to pout and huff and wonder what context Kouga had spoken about him to Kagome, but being far too proud to ask.

"So you are still hanging out with wolf shit," he said instead. "Is he your boyfriend now or what?" Kagome shrugged, trying to stuff away all feelings of guilt.

He hated the idea of that wolf boy talking to Kagome about him, perhaps even recounting his almost fight with him at the bar. Damn it, what had Kouga said to her? That he was dangerous? That he was a worthless hanyou? Inuyasha shifted in his seat. Kagome still didn't know he'd broken up with Kikyou, and he wasn't sure if he could tell her. He wasn't even sure what it meant yet, and Kagome would probably take it the wrong way, anyway…

"Godzilla or Alien first?" he asked finally, stooping down in front of his tv and opening a drawer full of old VHS tapes. He began to shift them around moodily, even though both movies were clearly right in front of him. He swore, he could almost smell the wolf on her…

"Alien I guess."

Inuyasha took the tape out and fed it into the dated VHS player, standing up to go make the popcorn without saying anything more.

Kagome finished the task of setting up the movie, wondering why she felt so guilty. She kept the quilt draped around her shoulders, noticing that Inuyasha hadn't turned the heat on despite the chill outside.

 _It's because Kouga spoke badly of Inuyasha and he's your best friend. You should've stood up for him. And Inuyasha met Kouga, maybe they fought…_

"Yeah, that's the reason," Kagome muttered, turning on the TV. It was one of those fossil TVs from the 1990s, and it took its time flickering to life. The high-pitched buzzing sound it emitted caused Inuyasha to flatten his ears.

"Reason for what?" Inuyasha dropped back onto the couch, folding his arms. Kagome winced, criss-crossing her legs under her and meeting his eyes miserably. Inuyasha didn't change expression, but felt himself melt a little at her doe-eyed look. If he knew Kagome at all, he knew that she could turn on the tears at any given moment, and then he'd be useless and do whatever she wanted, because nothing broke his heart more than seeing Kagome hurting because of him.

"Kouga said you were at a bar near my school. Why didn't you say anything, Inuyasha?"

"Keh. You weren't even answering my texts, wench." _So now she wants me around._

"But if I'd known you were around – "

"I thought you hated me," Inuyasha didn't know how it happened, but suddenly he was on his knees, on level with Kagome, his hands covering hers. He was gruff and angry and moody but it hurt, remembering Kagome's silence, and he was sick of pretending around her. "You were ignoring me. I only went there because…"

"…Because?"

"Because I was hoping I'd run into you, and you'd talk to me again. Fine, there. Are you happy now?" Inuyasha stood up again, aggravated. "Let's just watch the fucking movie."

"Okay." _Nothing to say to that? Did you miss me too?_

The movie was in English with Japanese subtitles. Kagome had watched it many times with Inuyasha, on a number of occasions, the very same copy. They sometimes joked that they had enough experience watching monster movies to actually go monster hunting, because they knew every resolution, every weakness, every trap that monster movies had to offer.

Inuyasha eventually fetched the bowl of popcorn, which he'd doused with garlic powder and salt and butter. They had a routine.

"I was fifteen when we first saw this one," Kagome commented, eyes on the screen as the name "Veronica Cartwright" disappeared from the screen. Inuyasha turned to look at her, grumpiness fading.

He nodded, remembering. It had been their first movie night together, and he'd been scared that she would hate the movie. After weeks of her bothering him, and him being rude and ungrateful to her despite her kindness, he gave in and accepted her offer to hang out. It turned out that she loved horror movies just as much as he did, and she had asked him to show her more.

He felt guilty when he remembered his initial reaction to her. She looked so much like Kikyou, he couldn't help but not trust her. Also, no one had ever had ever been so positive to him before. She didn't seem to understand the hatred people had for hanyous, nor did she care when he tried to explain it to her. _No, people don't like me! I'm not normal. Stop following me around._

 _I like you, so why don't we get to know each other?_

He didn't know how she did it, but soon after he was attached. He became protective, even got into a few fights in an attempt to protect her from over eager suitors and bullies who called her a whore for hanging out with him. She didn't hate hanyous and she liked scary movies. She had no hopes of getting rid of him after he figured that out.

Then Kikyou had returned, suddenly, and Kagome had been the one to help him trust her again… because she taught him not to hold on to those terrible feelings.

"I'm lucky," Inuyasha offered after a moment. The ship had just been damaged, and the crew was concerned, but had no idea what they were about to face. The alien was a scary fucker, even Inuyasha had to admit.

"Lucky how?"

"If we hadn't met who knows if I would've even finished high school. Probably not. I was thinking 'bout dropping out before we met at that party."

"Why did you stay?" She didn't have to ask why he wanted to drop out.

Inuyasha laughed at the question, turning to look at Kagome. She was truly clueless, or she really wanted him to believe she was.

"You know why."

Kagome blushed but found she had nothing more to say. She stayed on the floor next to the couch, eyes glued to the tv, never wavering. She only looked at him when she wanted more popcorn, but even reaching into the bowl allowed for those intense, unsettling gold eyes to smolder her insides.

The movie dragged on in a way it never had before. Neither of them could sit still, and eventually Kagome's eyes started shifting over to Inuyasha, where he sat above her, rigid on the sofa, eyes stubbornly fixed to the tv screen. He would occasionally shove popcorn into his mouth, chew it quickly, and then glance over at Kagome. They were determined not to look at each other, but somehow it was unavoidable.

When about half the crew had been mercilessly slaughtered by the alien monster, Kagome yawned loudly and pointedly. Trying to appear natural, she stood up, wrapped in the quilt, and eased herself onto the sofa. A greasy bowl with a handful of popcorn kernels settled at the bottom stayed between the two of them.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, unfolding his arms and reaching for the bowl. He awkwardly placed it on the floor, not daring to look over at her, thus she got the wrong idea.

"Remember how much the alien used to scare me?" Kagome asked, rather quickly.

"You screamed at all of the jump scares until about the fifth time we watched it," Inuyasha said, half-smiling. "But faced with real life monsters and you can't stand the idea of leaving them alone. Hell, you're downright cuddly with em."

Kagome scowled. "If you're talking about Kouga – "

"No, idiot, not the stupid wolf! Do you ever stop thinking about him?"

"Yes!"

"But you still think about him, huh?"

"Yes, I mean – what did you mean about me getting cuddly then?!"

"I meant with me, duh."

"You're not a monster, Inuyasha." Kagome dared to scoot over, her knee bumping his, their warmth suddenly shared. Inuyasha's eyes widened. "You're a person, just like me – " Kagome reached up to tweak one of his impossibly soft ears, grinning. " – and your ears are way too cute to ever scare me off."

Inuyasha was blushing furiously, wondering if he'd ever had any opportunity like this before. I can kiss her, he realized, as her cheeks slowly started to color as well. He was allowed to do that now.

"You're the only one who thinks that," he grumbled. It wasn't the first time she'd teased him about his ears being cute.

"I'm sure Kikyou likes them too," she said, frowning. Shit.

"Kagome, listen, about Kikyou…" Kagome raised her eyebrows, about to settle back into her seat – "no, wait – " Inuyasha impulsively moved closer and put his hands on her shoulders, practically trembling. "Listen…" He could see into the depths of her dark eyes, could feel suddenly just how much they both wanted to, how they had been building up to this for years, Kikyou, Kouga, and everyone else be damned.

"Inuyasha…?" She was starting to smile now, getting closer and closer -

A shrill beeping noise made them both jump apart, Inuyasha's cell phone blaring, too loud to be ignored, from his pocket. Inuyasha swore violently and yanked the phone out of his sweatpants. Kagome lowered her eyes.

"Miroku," Inuyasha gritted out, trying to loosen his hold on the flip phone lest it shattered.

"Inuyasha my brother! Can you let me in? I'm downstairs."

"Are you serious?" Inuyasha was going to beat the living shit out of his high spirited friend.

"As serious as a heart attack! Now hurry up, it's kinda chilly out."

Inuyasha threw his phone down onto the couch and stomped out, not daring to look at Kagome.

 _Fuck. Fuck!_

* * *

"Mistress Overdone has a prominent voice and is characterized as a person of status," Akari sniffed, looking around to see if anyone had any objection. "She is the manager of the brothel, and people listen to her and respect her! Not only that but the brothel is really popular. She is undeniably powerful."

The seminar instructor nodded and flipped through the pages of their copy of the Shakespeare anthology assigned for the course. A student drummed their pencil on the long table they all shared rhythmically. A guy next to Kagome was snoring softly.

"What about when she says 'Why, here's a change indeed in the commonwealth!/ What shall become of me?' Implying that if the brothel is taken away, she will have nothing and possibly die without its business?"

"Shakespeare is showing that despite the spread of disease and the filth that accumulates in brothels, it is one of the only ways women can support themselves and survive," Kagome said, holding her own copy of the anthology close to her face as she tried to gather her thoughts. "Mistress Overdone would lose everything, and she isn't really demonized, so…." Kagome slowly closed her book, looking up at the instructor. "It could be that he believed women needed other ways of making a living that didn't include sex work, but he isn't shaming those who take that road, either. It isn't clear..."

"It almost never is, Kagome," the instructor said brightly, smiling in relief that someone who wasn't Akari had spoken up. Almost no one else volunteered their opinions usually. "Good point."

Kagome nodded her thanks, then looked up at the clock. Perfect.

"Finish the play for Wednesday and write a short reflection on the use of sex work as a plot device in _Measure for Measure,_ " the instructor said as books were stowed away and students began half-sprinting out the door. Kagome took her time, sighing with relief. Maybe her participation grade wouldn't be as bad as she feared.

The last person to leave the room, sans the instructor, Kagome walked slowly, eyes down as she remembered that while she was doing well in Intro to English Literature, pretty much all her other classes were low Cs at best. Not to mention the state of her love life. But such was the life of a first year. Maybe her grades would be better when she completed her core requirements.

Kagome turned out into the hallway, inhaling the old building smell with reverence. The main building on campus smelled of old books and wood, and it always put her in the mood to curl up with some good literature, or drink some herbal tea.

Kagome slowed as the other students scrambled out of the building, reading the fliers and mailbox labels attached to the various offices that lined the halls. She hummed tunelessly, eyeing the gold nameplates attached to the doors, and then remembered something else that was colored gold…

"Get that paper written for me by tomorrow, Jakotsu, or I'm failing you for the semester. I don't have time to put up with this bullshit anymore." Kagome looked up, startled, at the sound of a cold voice. She felt the back of her neck prickle uncomfortably, and her body felt clammy, like she was coming down with a cold. _Must be ptsd from all the papers I've handed in lately. I feel bad for whoever has to answer to that guy..._

A professor was standing outside of one of the classrooms, long, curly black hair tied back at the nape of his neck. Some curls were loose, hanging around a narrow face. His eyes were dark and slanted, and his skin as white as the paper he had clutched in his hand. A sleek suit sheathed a tall, narrow body. _I didn't know there were demon professors here._ Kagome almost came to a full stop, and noticed another student standing with the professor. He was decked out in a floral kimono, lips painted red, winged eyeliner neater and prettier than any makeup Kagome had ever worn.

Kagome turned her gaze to the door they were standing in front of. Professor Naraku, Psychology Ph.D. What kind of name was that? _He looks kooky enough, that's for sure,_ Kagome commented absently.

"Yeah, yeah. Like I haven't heard that one before. Later." Jakotsu stepped away from the strange man, casting a glance over his shoulder before cutting Kagome off. Kagome gasped, surprised at the sudden proximity of the colorful man.

"Hey!"

"Watch yourself, girl," he muttered as he stalked off. Kagome stopped in the middle of the hallway, offended, and glared at the man's slender back. Some people were so rude.

"Kikyou?"

Kagome turned, confused, then became startled. The professor was staring at her, his eyes widening into a calculating gaze.

"Excuse me?" _Kikyou_? The man's expression changed when he heard her voice, visibly relaxing, but still leering.

"My apologies, miss. You resemble a woman I know well." Kagome frowned. Kikyou wasn't a common name, and she had been told by Inuyasha that she did indeed look like Kikyou. The man was starting to disturb her. Was he some kind of stalker?

"I know a Kikyou," she said, becoming even more uncomfortable under his intense gaze. Everything about him screamed "predator".

"Do you now?" He took a step closer, somehow his eyes widening further, his lips spreading into a tight smirk.

"Yeah… she's not from around here though. Probably a coincidence. Weird, huh!" Kagome took a step back, adjusting her ponytail, chuckling in a forced, terrified sort of way. She felt very small next to him. His smirk widened, somehow, and Kagome was starting to get a fight or flight response. She felt like slapping the smirk off his creepy face.

"Perhaps we know the same Kikyou. Does yours keep contact with a filthy hanyou, by chance?"

"Uhh… nope! What's a hanyou? Anyways, I have a class now, so I'll… see you later!" Kagome spun around and high tailed it out of the building, feeling the strange man's eyes on her the entire time. Filthy hanyou? That man knows Inuyasha!

"I hope so," he said, laughing to himself before stepping back into his office. The girl had blatantly lied to him, that much was obvious. "The fates have brought us together," he realized, relishing the newfound feeling of obsession that spread through him. A beautiful young girl, an almost exact copy of the enchanting Kikyou. How fitting.

* * *

"Another date with Kouga? But what about Inuyasha?"

Kagome poked the silver hoops through her ears, shooting Rin an unhappy glance through the mirror. Her blue dress sparkled in the fluorescent light of the dorm room, a pretty slip style that highlighted her complexion wonderfully.

"What about him, Rin?"

"He almost kissed you!"

"He almost cheated on his girlfriend," Kagome sighed, combing a deft hand through her hair. "Inuyasha is the most important person in my life, but I deserve better than what he's put me through. He's dragged me through hell in his desperation to not lose me or Kikyou, but then he gets jealous of Kouga?! As if."

Kagome pushed down the feeling of guilt that rose up inside her. No. I deserve to be happy. Inuyasha can't give me what I need!

Liar. He's the only one who can give you what you need.

"Are you sure you're not just seeing Kouga to make Inuyasha jealous?"

"Absolutely not! I hate it when that jerk gets jealous! It's unbearable." _It makes me realize he might feel the same way, maybe deep down…_

 _STOP IT!_

"Well, at least let him know about that Naraku guy. Maybe Inuyasha does know him, and if he's as creepy as you said, it might be worth mentioning…"

"I will, soon. I just want to try to get through one night without worrying about Inuyasha, okay, Rin?"

"Okay…" Rin sighed and hugged her knees to her chest. It was a Thursday night, and Rin was dressed in floral print soft cotton pajamas, a cup of tea on her bedside table. "I think I'm going to call my dad when you leave, it feels like it's been forever since I spoke to him."

"You talk about him all the time, I'm surprised you don't call him every day," Kagome said, cracking a smile in the mirror as she finished adjusting her hair and makeup. She stepped away, wordlessly asking Rin her opinion. Rin nodded, smiling back.

"He's not my real father you know. He saved my life when I was little, and I've been with him ever since. My real parents died when I was very young."

"I'm so sorry, that's terrible." Rin nodded again, turning to look out the window next to her bed.

"He gets so lonely, I'm all he has, really. He's very important to me. I don't want him to forget that."

"He's lucky to have you." Kagome walked over to her bed, picking up her clutch and her cell phone.

"I'm lucky to have him. I would never have been able to afford school without his help, or any sort of life probably."

"He knows how hard you work, I'm sure he's proud of you."

"Definitely." Rin smiled, reaching for her tea. Kagome turned towards the door. "Kagome…"

"Yeah?"

"Be safe out there. I know you like Kouga, but…"

"Hm?"

"I just have a weird feeling about all this."

"I'll be fine, Rin! Don't worry. Tomorrow night let's do something fun, just the two of us, kay?"

"Sounds good."

Kagome smiled and blew Rin a kiss before heading out the door. Rin's smile vanished, and reaching for her own cell phone, she felt her stomach twist.

"Sesshomaru? Hi! Yeah, I'm fine… hey, do you know a man called Naraku?"

* * *

 **Author's Note**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed my story! You all make writing this worth it, really:**

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 **It warms my heart to hear that people actually enjoy reading this. Thank you so much!**

 **-SML**


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